I'll Be Seeing You
by mellowship
Summary: Set after 2.23. Chuck breaks Blair's heart again. When Blair gets in an accident and loses her memory, Chuck needs to decide whether it's best she doesn't remember him, or whether it's his opportunity to try to win her heart all over again.
1. Ain't That A Kick In The Head

**I'll Be Seeing You**

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Chapter title taken from "Ain't That A Kick In The Head" by Dean Martin**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill**

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_Blair Waldorf leaves Chuck Bass sitting at the bar; appropriate, since said Bass had just left Blair's heart shattered in a thousand little pieces on the floor. _

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She walks alone through Central Park, tears streaming down her face in a steady river of bitterness and anger, sadness and desolation. Again, Blair had worn her heart on her sleeve and told Chuck she still wanted him, and again, Chuck broke her heart. Scratch that. He demolished, destroyed, and decimated it. As she wipes the tears off her cheeks, smearing her eyeliner, she wonders if her heart will ever be whole again, or if it will remain unmendable. Contemplating her heartache, Blair sits on a bench and takes out her phone to see three new texts from Nate.

**-Where'd u go?**

She had ignored that text earlier, but as Nate was getting increasingly clingy, he had sent more.

-**Come on! Srsly!**

**-B, answer me!**

**-Serena got arrested. U gna talk now??**

_Fuck!_ Blair thinks. She'd be a terrible friend if she doesn't respond, even if she doesn't want to talk to Nate. She dials his number and listens to his Jack Johnson ringback tone until he picks up.

"Nate, what happened?" Blair tries to conceal the fact that she is still shedding tears.

"What happened to you is my question! What's wrong?" Nate asks.

Blair sighs, exasperated and exhausted. "Nothing! Now explain to me just what the hell happened to S! I thought everything was going well?"

As Nate explains what happened, Blair begins to gather herself and direct her attentions on Serena's predicament instead of her own. That's how it normally works, anyways. Serena gets in trouble and the world stops. Nobody even notices when Blair starts falling apart. She tells Nate she will meet him at the police station and takes out a compact, observing her tear-streaked face in the tiny mirror. Her eyes are bloodshot and black eyeliner is smudged beneath her eyes and down her cheeks. _Well that's an awful sight_, Blair observes, taking out a small bottle of make-up remover and a cotton ball. A well-bred girl is always prepared, as Eleanor had taught her.

After she reapplies her make-up to the point where she feels she looks semi-decent, Blair starts walking out of the park. A sleek black limo drives down the street and a fleeting thought that it is Chuck in that limo crosses her mind. The limo continues driving and the feeling that came over her left as quickly as it had came.

Chuck had finally taught her that hope is futile.

_When he leaves her standing alone at the helipad before they are supposed to go to Tuscany, Blair is shattered but she still has hope for the two of them; she believes Chuck will redeem himself because at this point, she has no other reason to believe otherwise._

_When he leaves her a second time after Bart Bass' death, Blair is broken because she tells him she loves him, and he leaves her all alone... again. She believes in them though - Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck - because deep down she knows that he loves her. She feels it from the top of her curl-covered head to the bottom of her manicured toes. She has so much faith in their love that she does anything she had to do in order to ensure his safe return. _

_The third time he breaks her he spits out the word "wife" like it is pure venom; the poisoning of Blair's hope for something more is almost complete. _

_She still has a glimmer of faith left when she speaks to Chuck today. She expresses to him how they could make it work if he really wanted to be with her. However, Blair is also less naive because of the previous times she had worn her heart on her sleeve and he tore it off callously. She pleads for him to tell her if it is all a game, or if he really cares for her. If it's a game, she begs of him, then let her go. Coldly, the man Blair loves tells her she's free to leave_

As she crosses the street, Blair reflects on everything that Chuck has done to her and she tries to convince herself that he hurt her too much and that she deserves better. She feels another tear snaking its way down her cheek and starts to brush it off when she hears a loud beep and a sickening crunch of metal.

Everything goes black.


	2. Don't Rock The Boat

**I'll Be Seeing You**

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Chapter title taken from "Don't Rock The Boat, Dear" by Dean Martin**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill**

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"Okay Blair, hurry up, though. Serena needs us," Nate hangs up his phone and runs his hands through his dark blonde hair. Looking at Chuck, he shakes his head slowly. "I feel like she's pushing me away, dude. I do love her but I'm not so sure the feeling's mutual."

Deep inside of Chuck, there is a storm raging. His heart pounds thunderously and his eyes flash lightning. Composing himself, Chuck adjusts his pink bowtie and takes a deep breath. _I let her go_, he reminds himself. He paints on a nonchalant expression and shrugs his shoulders. "It's probably nothing Nathaniel. Girls get temperamental all the time, especially Blair. Anyways, I think Serena is our top priority right now." Chuck turns to head inside the station in order to see if he can get more information about his step-sister.

Nate begins to follow Chuck when suddenly, the two men hear the loud, screeching sirens of ambulances, police cars, and a fire truck. "Wow there must have been one hell of an accident." Nate remarks, shuddering as he looks back towards the street. He could make out the rescue vehicles racing down Park Avenue, so close to Central Park, where his girlfriend had been.

Chuck smirks. "Better someone else than you, am I right? Let's go in and see what we can find out about this whole arrest thing. God knows our dearest Serena won't last long in prison."

The police officers won't allow Chuck or Nate to see Serena. One officer, last name Jameson, explains to the pair that she has been arrested for the theft of an heirloom of Lily van der Woodsen's and that until Ms. van der Woodsen drops the charges, the blonde will be remaining in custody of New York's finest.

"Do you have any idea who I am?" Chuck pulls out the only card he has, hoping he can intimidate the officer into letting Serena go.

Officer Jameson laughed. "Do you have any idea how many pretentious motherfuckers come into this place asking me that? It doesn't work for them and it ain't gonna work for you either, pal."

Chuck's eyes narrow and he sticks his hands in his pockets to restrain himself from launching a right hook to the officer's piggish face. "I own half of this city, _pal_. I'll make sure every single one of you lose your jobs, your homes, everything. Don't underestimate me."

Nate stands in the background, sheepishly. He is never good in situations of serious matter and so he figures it is best to remain quiet, to watch from the shadows and take note of how others handle emergencies. Nate supposes that's why he is the last person people come to for support, because he never knows what to say other than little clichés such as "It'll be okay" or "Everything happens for a reason." Chuck, on the otherhand, takes action. That's the difference between the two men: Nate talks and Chuck walks.

Nate continues observing his best friend, who at this point is on the verge of getting arrested for verbal assault. "Officer," Nate jumps in, surprised at himself, "you're telling me there's no way to bail her out?"

Officer Jameson, relieved to be free of the barrage of threats from Chuck Bass, shakes his head at Nate. "She hasn't been fully processed yet. Bail hasn't been set. Hold tight, we're trying to get in touch with her mother."

Nate nods and grips Chuck's shoulder, guiding him back from the officer and towards a bench against the wall. The two sit and wait. They wait for Serena, they wait for Blair, they wait for Lily. They just... _Wait_, Nate remembers_, Blair!_

"She isn't here Chuck!"

"Who isn't here, Nathaniel? You forget we are at the disposal of several women at this moment. Specify, would you?" Chuck leans his head back against the wall. How did he ever get this soft? He never used to cater to anybody, and here he is, waiting on women. _No... friends_, Chuck tells himself. He never used to have friends to help. And so, here he is, waiting on _friends,_ and happy to do so.

"Blair." Nate's stomach twisted with worry. "She said she would be here in twenty minutes. That was an hour ago."

Chuck's dark, devilish eyes bore into Nate's angelic blue ones. His palms start sweating but he doesn't show his concern. "She probably got distracted by the gleam of jewelry from the Tiffany's window. You're worrying for no reason."

Nate nods slowly but takes out his phone and dials Blair's number anyways. He just wants to make sure she is okay. The phone goes straight to voicemail and Nate stares straight ahead of him, dropping his phone beside him. Chuck looks over at his best friend quizzically. "What's wrong?" he asks.

Nate keeps staring straight ahead, not looking at Chuck. "Her phone went right to voicemail."

"So what? Maybe it's dead." Chuck reasoned.

Nate shook his head. "You don't get it, Chuck. You might know more about Blair than I do, but I have known her and been with her long enough to know this: Blair's phone has never, not once, went to voicemail in all the time that she's ever had a cell. You can call me stupid or crazy but something's wrong. I can feel it."

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**Thanks for everyone's amazing reviews! I hope you guys keep reading and keep loving it!**

**Anyways, I know there is no Blair in this chapter (sadface), but I want to keep everybody involved in the story. I mean, it's a little hard to ignore that Serena is in jail, right? **

_**UP NEXT: Gossip Girl finds out about Blair's accident, and will Serena be donning orange jumpsuits for the next year?**_


	3. Mood Indigo

**I'll Be Seeing You**

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Chapter title taken from "Mood Indigo" by Duke Ellington (inspired by Ella Fitzgerald's version, though)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill**

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The paramedics rush an unconscious Blair through the doors of St. Luke's hospital. Blood drenches her pale, thin body, nearly naked as her clothes were cut off in the ambulance so that the paramedics could locate serious wounds. Deep red liquid covers the gloved hands of the men pushing the stretcher and drips down to the sterile white floor of the emergency room in steady droplets. A St. Luke's doctor rushes to Blair's side. "Details, people!" he shouts at the paramedics.

"18-year-old female pedestrian hit by a car. She wasn't breathing upon ambulance arrival but we utilized CPR and intubated her and fortunately she came back to us. There's so much blood I don't know where one wound ends and another begins!' the paramedic explains hurriedly.

_Blair is surrounded by darkness. She hears distant, muffled voices but cannot hear her own heart beating. Is it? She wonders. All of a sudden she sees a bright white light ahead of her, far away, but gleaming nonetheless. It looks inviting. The voices disappear and Blair is enveloped in pure silence. Bravely, she steps one bare foot in front of the other and makes her way towards the source of the safe, warm light. _

A St. Luke's resident and several nurses surround the doctor and look at him expectantly for orders. "Bring her to O.R. 2! She needs surgery immediately!" the doctor barks . An inanimate Blair is wheeled off to the operating room, shut off from the world and everyone in it.

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_"Something's wrong. I can feel it." _

Chuck's stomach knots at Nate's words. If anything were to happen to Blair, he wouldn't know what he would do with himself. He wouldn't know how to live. Yes, their relationship is dysfunctional, and no, he doesn't know why he behaves the way he does toward her sometimes, but the point is, he needs the tiny brunette in his life somehow, even if she hates him. Chuck Bass is insecure; it's as simple as that. He doesn't feel he could make her happy even if they were together because he has done nothing but cause her heartache in the past. It would be too hard for him to not fuck up with Blair, because fucking things up is something he is particularly skilled in, whether it be messing up his own life, or messing up somebody else's (either accidentally or on purpose). _She deserves better than me_, Chuck thinks_, It is better to let her be with someone who will keep her safe from me. Someone like Nate_.

Chuck is about to speak to a scared-looking Nate when his cell phone rings. It's Lily, finally. Chuck prepares to bombard her with questions like it's the Inquisition, but she speaks immediately before he gets to open his mouth. "Charles, don't interrupt. You need to listen to me," Lily starts.

Chuck Bass is never one to take orders. "No!" he explodes. "Something is not right here Lily. Why the _hell_ would Serena steal something she is bound to get from you anyways? Explain."

Lily sighs audibly into the phone. "That doesn't matter right now, Charles. I dropped the charges and am coming to pick up Serena as we speak. You are at the station, I hear. Stay. I'll be there soon. There's been an accident." She hangs up.

The same feeling washes over him as when Lily had called to tell him Bart had been in a car accident. It is a feeling of pure dread, wrapping around him so tightly he feels he cannot possibly breathe. He rests his elbows on his knees and drops his head to his hands, trying to get a hold of himself. "Chuck... what- what did she say?" Nate asks shakily, his voice low and nervous.

"There's been... an _accident_." Chuck replies darkly, emphasizing the last word. His eyebrows furrow together in erratic thought.

Nate's eyes widen in shock and Chuck's deepest fear is realized when the vibrations of both his and Nate's cell phones reveal a Gossip Girl post out of Chuck's worst nightmare.

**Gossip Girl here: Seems our favorite Ice Queen is in the hospital after a crash. Get well soon B; the Upper East Side wouldn't be the same without you. And S getting booked by New York's finest? That's one for the books. **

**You Know You Love Me**

"Blair." the pair says together.

Death, to Chuck, feels more welcome than ever at this moment.

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**As always, thanks for reading and (hopefully) reviewing! **

**If you found this a little slow it's because it's a transition chapter. I needed a way for our boys to find out about the accident!**

**BrittyKay247: I hope I redeemed Chuck a little bit for you :)**

**LetMeIn1812: Glad you're still loving it! I'm on a writing roll right now with this story so there'll be more to love quite soon!**

**MrsChairNaley: This is shaping up to be a long fic so I'm glad you found you can get into it! **

**xoxogg4lifexoxo: Yay! I'm excited that you're excited. There's definitely a lot of drama in the works so keep up the enthusiasm!**

**Thanks to all other reviewers :) It means the world to me to know you like my writing!**

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_**UP NEXT: Blair's fate is decided, and Chuck has a heart-to-heart with Serena.**_


	4. When Your Lover Has Gone

**I'll Be Seeing You**

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Chapter title taken from "When Your Lover Has gone" by Frank Sinatra**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill**

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_Blair could die_. The thought will not leave Nate's head as he and Chuck wait at the police department for Lily. His blue eyes are hazy and he remains stone still; moving is too much for the young Archibald right now.

Abruptly, Chuck stands up. "I'm going to the restroom." Nate doesn't reply.

Chuck makes long, angry strides towards the bathroom and pulls the door open with a force that very nearly tears the door off of its hinges. He stands in front of the mirror and without hesitation, launches his fist into it over and over, even after the mirror shatters and shards of glass fall to the floor. He turns the faucet on and water comes streaming into the sink. He doesn't turn it on to clean his bleeding hand; no, he just needs something to hide his sobs.

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It is hours later and Chuck, Serena, Nate, Lily, and Eleanor are in the waiting room of St. Luke's. Eleanor remains silent, her lips pursed together in a thin line. In her head, she prays for her young daughter, who is still in the operating room fighting for her life. Lily's soft, comforting hand rests atop Eleanor's and she looks to Serena, saying quietly, "I'm sorry, sweetheart. You will never know how sorry I am for what I did to you." Lily is on the verge of tears as she thinks about what would happen if she ever loses her golden angel. Serena flashes a small smile as a signal of understanding and rests her head on Nate's shoulder, closing her eyes. She is tired from today's events but she cannot rest knowing her best friend is in danger.

_I should have ran after her,_ the blonde thinks with guilt, _I wouldn't have been arrested and this never would have happened_. Tears begin to well in her bright blue eyes and spill down her face in rapid succession. Nate turns his head towards hers.

"It'll be okay," he assures her in predictable Nathaniel Archibald fashion.

Serena whips her head up towards Nate's. "No, Nate, it won't! Do you understand that Blair, your _girlfriend_, my _best friend_, is on a fucking operating table right now? Do you realize that if one single thing goes wrong in there she's gone forever? I can't believe how moronic you can be sometimes!" Nate bows his head in defeat. Serena is taking shallow, quick breaths, as if she is having a panic attack and Lily begins to get up to calm her daughter down. Serena holds her hand up to stop her. "I'll... I'll... I'll be... be fine." she says between the sharp intakes of air, "I... I'm just going to get... get water." Lily nods and sits back down.

Chuck, meanwhile, is leaning against the wall of the waiting room, staring out the window. The sky has turned an evil gray and it begins to downpour. _How appropriate_, Chuck thinks. Waves of tears crest and begin sliding down his cheeks. He hasn't cried since his father died. Resting his head against the cold, hard glass of the window, Chuck silently wishes that it was him who was dying rather than the love of his life. He can only imagine what was going through Blair's head right before she crossed that street. Somehow, he knows it has to do with him and because of that he is overwrought with grief and guilt. He hurt her again. This is all because of him. Chuck knows Blair is resilient, that she always bounces back from whatever idiot move he makes against her, he just isn't so sure she can come back from this. He feels like bursting into the operating room and taking Blair into his arms and far, far away from anything that would ever hurt her again. _No_, he reminds himself angrily, clenching his fists, _I'm the one that causes her pain_. Suddenly his thoughts are cut short when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns his head to see Serena, who is sporting bloodshot eyes, courtesy of her weeping.

"Are you okay?" she asks him with worry, her breathing less erratic.

Chuck realizes he had been crying and quickly wipes the remaining tears off of his cheeks, embarrassed. "Fantastic, sis. Best day of my life." he replies sarcastically, turning to face the window again.

"Chuck, I know what you're thinking. This isn't your fault." Serena is aware of his tendency to blame himself for anything that goes wrong in his or Blair's life.

Chuck rolls his eyes and says bitterly, "Come on, S. Everybody knows how wonderful I am at making Blair's life miserable. This is just the icing on the cake." He winces. It hurts too much to say her name.

"Chuck," Serena places her hand under his chin and turns his head towards her, making their eyes meet, "Blair's life is anything but miserable because of you. She loves you and I know that you love her."

Chuck feels like jumping out of the very window he is leaning against. He doesn't want to have this conversation right now. "Thanks for the concern little sis but I'm feeling less obliged to talked to you by the second."

_Stubborn Bass_, Serena inwardly complains. "I don't care what you're feeling as long as it isn't guilt." she remarks. "When she wakes up, you should tell her you love her. If you think it won't work because of Nate, you're wrong. I'll support you two. We all will, Chuck!"

"Serena, I'm the one who put her in this position in the first place. I'm the reason she got in an accident. I can't put everything into loving her the way she deserves because..." Chuck closes his eyes, trying to stop fresh tears from falling. He pauses to regain his composure. "Let me put it this way. How can I possibly love her properly when I can't even love myself?"

Serena opened her mouth to reply when she heard a voice foreign to her ears. It was the doctor.

"Are you the mother of Blair Waldorf?" he asks Eleanor solemnly.

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**Cliffhanger! I suck, I know =) This was my favorite chapter to write so far, though. Anyways, this story is going to be much longer than I had originally planned, seeing as how we haven't even spanned twenty-four hours yet, but I see that as a good thing! Oh, and I know I said Blair's fate was going to be decided in this chapter, but I find this ending suited the dramatic tone of this chapter more. **

**MrsChairNaley: Thanks! I love me a good Chuck and Serena friendship too. And as for whether Chuck will be okay... we all know how impulsive he is. Keep that in mind!**

**howlsatthemoon: I know the last chapter was short but hopefully this one made up for it! I kind of like shorter chapters though; they make for longer stories and more to look forward to =)**

**Thanks for all the reviews everyone! They're the best!**

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_**UP NEXT: Fate, fortune, and Chuck-Nate talk.**_


	5. Between The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea

**I'll Be Seeing You**

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Chapter title taken from "Between The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea" by Ella Fitzgerald **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill**

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_"Are you the mother of Blair Waldorf?" he asks Eleanor solemnly. _

The group falls silent as their eyes focus intently on the doctor. Eleanor nods.

"Well Mrs. Waldorf, Blair suffered an epidural hematoma as a result of the accident. What that is, is basically bleeding between the skull and the brain." He pauses as Eleanor's expression turns to that of shock. "We were able to diagnose and treat it right away, however. The blood was aspirated - removed - and she is now in recovery. The surgery went remarkably well, actually."

Eleanor lets out a sigh of relief. "Oh my god," she says, happy that her daughter will be okay. Lily laughs and wraps her arms around Eleanor. Serena winks at Chuck with a small grin as she walks back to her seat next to Nate.

Nate pats Serena on the back and says happily, "Told you it'd be okay. Blair's a fighter."

The doctor clears his throat and the chatter subsides. "Miss Waldorf has sustained other injuries, however. She's got several broken ribs and a broken leg. Obviously she has many cuts and contusions, and additional damage may be observed after she wakes up."

Chuck's head snaps up and he eyes the doctor suspiciously. "And what are you insinuating?"

"Well with brain injuries, memory loss or aphasia may occur. We won't know if Blair is suffering from either until she wakes up."

Chuck chest tightens again at the sound of her name. "When can I see her?"

Nate eyes Chuck from his place near Serena. "He means, when can _I_ see her? I'm her boyfriend."

Chuck turns his head to glare at Nate, who is furiously returning the stare. Nate's fingers dig into the cushion of the chair. _Just who does Chuck think he is?_ Nate muses. Serena senses the tension between the two and clears the uncomfortable silence, laughing nervously, "What they both meant to say is, when can _Serena_ see her?"

The doctor clears his throat again and looks at Serena. "You, Miss, can see Blair whenever you'd like. Within visiting hours, of course. She's resting in the ICU, room 302. Are there any additional questions?" Everyone shakes their heads and the doctor leaves.

Eleanor gets up. "I'm going to see my daughter," she announces. Lily embraces Eleanor once more and picks up her purse.

"And I'm going to a late dinner with Rufus." Lily waves goodbye to the group and leaves.

After Lily's and Eleanor's departure, Serena stands up and puts her hands on her hips. "Chuck, Nate, what the hell was that? Can you guys not be civil to one another anymore?" she scolds them.

"Seems someone is a little insecure here," Chuck answers, gesturing towards Nate. Serena shakes her head knowingly, as if to say _"Yeah, you!"_

Nate stands up and says furiously, "You know what Chuck, you've done nothing but try to ruin what Blair and I have! I gave you the chance to tell her you wanted to be with her, and you didn't, so I don't know what else you want me to do! I'm not going to sit around and watch you destroy our relationship! I'm just not!"

Chuck rolls his eyes and smirks. "Actually, Nathaniel, I could have Blair in the back of my limo again any time I want and you know that. The only reason you two are together is because _I don't want her_. I told her that this afternoon." Chuck doesn't mean to say that but the words just keep coming out. Venomous speech is his only defense mechanism (other than fleeing to Bangkok, of course). "I would comfort you and say second choice isn't that bad, but I've never been anything less than first."

Nate's voice is calm now, controlled. "Really, Chuck? You don't want her? Then tell me why your fist collided with a mirror after you found out about the accident? Tell me why I heard you crying like a fucking baby with the water running?" Nate doesn't pretend to know why Chuck keeps lying to him. "Typical Chuck Bass," he continues, "says one thing and does another. You don't tell her you love her but you're acting on the contrary, dude. Quit denying what everyone already knows. This is the last time I will tell you this: If you don't want to man up and actually _be _with her, then stay the hell away, because what Blair and I have is perfect."

So Nate had heard him earlier today. Chuck's mind races for answers. He settles for stating the obvious. "Perfect?" he snorts, "What you two have is anything but perfect. You like the _manufactured_ Blair, the person Blair pretends to be to make you happy. You don't know the first thing about the real her, Nathaniel."

Oh, Chuck knows the real Blair, alright. He knows every very last inch of her. He knows that she snores when she sleeps. Does Nate know that? No, Blair is embarrassed and won't lay in bed with him long enough to find out. Chuck also knows that she paints her toenails according to her mood. He found that out the night he found her purging in her bathroom.

_He stands outside of her door, listening to her retch. "Open the door Blair," he threatens, "or I will bust it down." Still, the retching sound persists. So he takes a few steps back and lunges against the door with his shoulders, again and again until the door opens. The tiny brunette stands in front of him with her head held high. _

_She crosses her arms and says defiantly, "I'm fine, you know." Her watering eyes tell a different story._

_Chuck eyes Blair. He knows exactly what she needs. "Come here." He holds his arms open and she hesitates before throwing herself into them, her tears drenching his new silk shirt. He doesn't care. She opens her mouth to speak and he shushes her, saying, "No need to explain. But you are beautiful Blair. I want you to see what I see." He guides her to her soft, queen-sized bed and lays her down. _

_He kneels at the foot of the bed and grasping Blair's small feet, rains sweet kisses over her silver-painted toes. "You." Kiss. "Are." Kiss. "Perfect." Kiss. He loves worshiping her like the goddess she is. It feels natural to him._

_A giggle springs from Blair's lips as she sniffles the last few tears away. "Want to hear something funny? My toes are silver today because I've been feeling invisible lately. But tomorrow I think I'm going to paint them Tiffany box blue."_

_Chuck looks up, amused. "Why Tiffany box blue?"_

_"Because Tiffany's makes me happy and... so do you." Blair smiles warmly, before pausing and saying quite seriously,"If you tell anyone what I just said, I'll have to kill you."_

_Chuck replies, "My lips are sealed." He pauses, and smirks. "Yours, on the other hand -"_

_  
"Don't say another word if you treasure your life!" Blair shrieks, hitting him over the head with a pillow. _

Chuck is shaken out of his thoughts by a smack on the back of his head courtesy of his step-sister. "You guys, please, calm down! This is a hospital, we can't get kicked out before we get to see Blair!" Serena squeals, hitting Nate in a similar fashion.

"Chuck isn't seeing anyone tonight." Nate remarks sullenly. If looks could kill, Chuck would have the dark blond dead on the hospital floor.

Just now, Eleanor comes into the waiting room. Her eyes are red as if she had been crying. As she picks up her purse and departs, she tells the teenagers that it's okay for them to go visit Blair now. Serena stands up. "Alright I'm going to see my best friend. When you guys decide to quit acting like children, you should join me." Turning on the heels of her Manolos, she makes towards room 302.

Nate and Chuck are left alone to face one another. The tension is thick in the air as Nate coughs and gets up. "Uh... Listen, Chuck," Nate runs his hands through his hair, "I'm going to see Blair. I'd rather you don't come with me."

"Wasn't planning to." Chuck snaps.

Chuck starts walking towards the hospital doors. He shoots Nate one final, biting glare and exits the hospital. When his limo arrives in the parking lot, Chuck gets in, opens his flask, and swallows its contents. Scotch always did make him feel better. Resting his head on the back of the seat, he says to the driver, "Park somewhere. We aren't leaving until I get to see Blair."

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**Wow, longest chapter yet! By the way guys, let me know if you guys think the story is moving too slow or if you like it at this pace. I'm on the fence as to whether I want to speed it up or not =/**

**xoxogg4lifexoxo: Ah! I'm so glad that you're able to get wrapped up in my story. I feel like I need to crank out chapters faster knowing that readers like you enjoy it so much!**

**laxer77: I would be awfully cruel if I had killed her off. Wouldn't make for much of a story!**

**LetMeIn1812: Wishful thinking? Wishes come true you know!**

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_**UP NEXT: Visits and visions.**_


	6. In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning

**I'll Be Seeing You**

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Chapter title (and subsequent song lyrics) taken from "In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning" by Frank Sinatra**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill**

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Chuck spots Nate and Serena leaving St. Luke's. He watches them until they get into a cab together and Chuck decides that now is as good a time as any to try to see Blair. Sure, it's now past visiting hours, but he's Chuck Bass and whatever Chuck wants, Chuck gets. He enters the hospital and strides up to the receptionist's desk.

A tired young woman peers over the desk and looks at Chuck disapprovingly. "Visiting hours are over, sir."

"I'm aware." Chuck slides several hundred dollar bills across the desk and watches the receptionist's hand inch towards the paper. She looks up at Chuck hesitantly. "Go on," he nods, smirking, "I won't tell if you won't tell."

The receptionist pockets the money and turns her attention back to her Cosmo magazine. Chucks takes this opportunity to head to Blair's room. He turns corner after corner, shuddering at the thought that people die in these passing rooms every single day. Not his Blair, though. He'll make sure of that. _308... 306...304... _Chuck counts down until he reaches room 302. His stomach is knotted with nervousness. Placing his hand on the door, he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. Chuck isn't sure he can bear seeing Blair looking so fragile. He pushes the door open, eyes still closed, and shuts it behind him. The beeping of Blair's heart monitor lets him know she is stable. _She's okay, she's okay, she's okay,_ Chuck repeats in his head like his own personal mantra. He slowly opens his eyes. Lucky thing the heart monitor is not hooked up to him because when Chuck gets a glimpse of Blair, his heart stops.

Blair is still unconscious. Her head is wrapped in gauze and Chuck notices her coffee-colored curls splayed across the pillow in all but one shaven spot, where the doctors had drilled a hole through her skull just hours earlier. Her face is bruised; a particularly angry one colors Blair's cheek a deep purple. Her leg is in a cast and deep cuts cover both of her small arms. Chuck sits down in a chair next to his Sleeping Beauty. Despite her broken form, he thinks she is just as perfect as ever.

"Blair, gorgeous, it's me, Chuck," he whispers to her as if she can hear him, "I need you to come back to me soon. Please. I'm not doing so good without you around. I know I've done some really stupid things to you in the past. I apologize for that." Choking back a sob, he takes her hand in his and traces circles on top of her soft skin with his thumb. "I'm sorry for putting you here in this bed. I don't know if I can ever make this up to you, and I doubt you'll forgive me once you wake up. But I need you to know that I didn't mean a single word back there in the restaurant about you being a game to me. Not one word. You're so much more than a game to me, Blair; you're my obsession - you consume my every waking thoughts. I love you, Waldorf. Simple as that."

He sucks in a deep breath of air and continues."Truthfully, Blair, My only regret, out of all the stupid, idiotic things I've ever done in my life, isn't that I used to shovel coke up my nose on a daily basis, or that I'm addicted to scotch - I mean, between you and me, I've never gone a day without it - or that I've fucked a hundred... well, two hundred... " Chuck smiles triumphantly before dropping his mouth into a serious frown. "Actually, forget the number. It doesn't matter. I mean to say that my only regret is causing you heartache. I would die a thousand times over to prevent you from feeling any kind of pain ever again." At this point Chuck on the verge of losing control. He stands up and paces around the room, fists jammed in his pockets. _Breathe_, he reminds himself. "I just want you to be happy, Blair. If Nate makes you happy, then I will accept that - but not until you consciously hear exactly what I'm telling you tonight. Once you hear me out, then you can choose. I'm ready now. I want to be with you."

A tear trails down his cheek as Chuck sits down quietly. He takes Blair's hand in his again, eyes transfixed on her battered face. He realizes how many times he has hurt Blair in the past but he has never, ever imagined losing her, especially not like this. Their never-ending cycles of arguing remind Chuck that he has a heart, that he has the capacity to care enough about someone to keep coming back for more. He doesn't know if he can change, but he'll try, he decides. "You know something, Cat? I think this time around is right for us. I don't think I can possibly screw up any worse than getting you into this mess, right?" Chuck only uses the nickname "Cat" for Blair when they are in the most intimate moments. He's seen Breakfast at Tiffany's enough to know that like Holly's precious Cat, Blair is the only person he would ever run back for, especially in the rain.

_"I don't want you anymore and I can't see why anyone else would." Chuck looks at Blair with stone eyes, jaw set in place, his hands clenched around an empty glass of scotch. His stomach drops to the floor when he realizes the words that have just left his mouth. It's almost as if he could pinpoint the exact moment when Blair's heart breaks. He wishes he can take back what he just said but it's too late; the damage is done. The tiny brunette stands up abruptly and walks out the door and into the rain. _

Rode hard and put away wet_, Blair's heart crumbles at the thought of being compared to a dirty horse. Especially by Chuck. Her expensive heels click-clack rapidly against the cold, hard cement. She doesn't feel like taking a cab; she just wants to run away, to get lost in the sea of people, never to be found again. _

_Meanwhile, Chuck sits at the bar, trying to come to terms with the magnitude of what has just transpired and attempting to figure out what to do next. He orders another scotch and swirls the amber liquid in its glass, looking into the cup as if it will somehow give him the answer. Suddenly he laughs. It's so obvious. He runs out the door, only to be greeted with a damn-near torrential downpour. Looking down the street, he scans the sidewalks for his lover. Chuck's limo waits outside and he hops in, directing his driver to head straight. _Goddamnit Blair, where are you?_ he asks himself, searching out the window for her. Suddenly a flash of red in the distance catches his eye. Her headband._

_"Stop!" Chuck barks at the driver. He gets out and starts running, his Michael Kors trench coat getting battered by rain droplets. "BLAIR!" he shouts. He doesn't care how stupid he looks; he just needs to reach Blair before she takes his words too seriously and does something stupid. Blair is too far ahead to hear him. He calls for her again, running as fast as his brown leather shoes allow. Reaching a street corner, a panicked Chuck looks around in all directions. Blair is nowhere to be found. He frantically picks a direction and starts running. Then he sees her. Standing alone, soaked and shivering under the awning of a Thai restaurant is his Cat. _

_"I'm sorry, Waldorf. I'm so sorry. I should never have said things I didn't mean." Chuck takes her face in both hands and looks into her big brown eyes intently. "I was looking everywhere for you. It's raining and you're going to get sick. Let me take you home."_

_A trembling Blair is trying desperately not to cry. She fails. "No. Leave me alone, Chuck."_

_"Blair," Chuck urges, "please __just get in the limo. You never have to talk to me again after today but let me take me home. I feel terrible."_

_Blair crosses her arms. "So do I. But fine, I guess I'll get in if you stop begging me. It's the least you could do you." she says haughtily, accepting his offer.  
_

_They get in Chuck's limo and he wraps his arms around her, trying to warm her up. Blair is nestled snugly beneath his left arm - _right where she belongs,_ Chuck notes - and she buries her head into his coat, still crying. "I still hate you, Bass. Nothing you ever say will make this okay."_

_Chuck nods, surreptitiously smiling because she fits so perfectly in his arms and it makes him feel like he he has the world in his hands. "I know, Cat."_

_"Cat?" Blair inquires through tears. "I think you've had enough to drink today."_

_  
Chuck smirks. "Text me when you figure it out, Waldorf."_

_Later, when Blair snuggles under her down comforter and turns on her favorite film, she realizes what Chuck means. She watches Holly step out of the cab and drop off Cat because she feels the animal needs to find someone more worthy. _So sad_, Blair thinks. Suddenly, Holly realizes her mistake and she jumps out of the cab and frantically searches for her companion in the rain. Tears of relief flood her eyes as she finds Cat and scoops him up in her arms lovingly. __"That mother chucker!" Blair exclaims loudly, thankful that no one is around to hear. __Her eyes gleam and she smiles, taking out her phone to text Chuck._

_**- I figured it out Bass.**_

_**-And?**_

_**-And I still hate u! But I luv the nickname :)**_

Maybe one day, _she silently decides._

Through salty tears, Chuck smiles at this vivid recollection. It started off as one of their worst moments and ended up one of his favorites. He softly traces Blair's jawline and gazes at her. Her ruby red lips are marred by a deep cut, but Chuck sees them as being nothing short of perfection. Even at her worst, Blair is better than Chuck's best. He leans down and gingerly presses his lips to the brunette's. Never does the world see a tender Chuck Bass; the only person who will ever possess that luxury is Blair Cornelia Waldorf. Chuck is happy to keep it that way. Gently, he peels back the white bedsheets and fits himself next to Blair on the hospital bed. She still smells faintly like vanilla and oranges, his favorite scent because it is hers, and hers alone.

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It's now three thirty in the morning and a tired Chuck Bass is humming a terrible rendition of a Frank Sinatra song.

_When your lonely heart has learned it's lesson...You'd be hers if only she would call...In the wee small hours of the morning...That's the time you miss her most of all..._

Chuck only breaks his eyes away from Blair when his eyelids start closing, heavy with exhaustion. He falls asleep, his arm draped around her protectively.

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**Okay so I really do love writing this story! l I took some poetic license in manipulating what happened after the infamous "Arabian horse" scene, mainly because the viewers never quite got a good idea of what Chuck was thinking after the fact. Besides, that scene needed some happiness somehow! Anyways, if updating is slower than usual, it's because I have finals all this week and would really like to not fail out of college =) Thank you so much for all the reviews! They really make my day!  
**

**Nakii-Ilylac: I wish I could tell you Nate will leave Chuck alone but... ;)**

**Samantha: It seemed harsh, but from Nate's perspective it is like he knows Chuck loves Blair but he isn't doing anything about it but trying to ruin Nate and Blair's relationship. Nate wants Chuck to either not tell her and stay away, or to tell her and let Blair choose.  
**

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**_UP NEXT: Sleeping Beauty awakens. _  
**


	7. Baby Won't You Please Come Home

**I'll Be Seeing You**

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Chapter title taken from "Baby Won't You Please Come Home" by Bessie Smith  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

A week and a half after his first visit with Blair, Chuck is sitting in his suite, slumped in a plush red chair with a bottle of scotch in hand. The shades are drawn close together so that his room is enveloped in almost pure darkness. He is drunk and miserable. Chuck visits Blair every night, after Nate goes home, and there is still no change in Blair's condition. She hasn't shown any signal that she will be waking up soon and it kills Chuck inside. He tries to be better, really he does. But without Blair to reassure him everything will be okay, Chuck doesn't know how to react to what's going on. And so he handles the situation the only way he knows how; he drinks.

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Meanwhile, Serena sits beside Blair's bed, filling her best friend in about all the things that have been happening while the brunette recovers. Brushing a strand of hair out of Blair's face, Serena continues talking about Lily. "I can't wait 'til you wake up so I can practically live at your place. Mom's been a psychopath ever since her date with Rufus. I guess he freaked about her having me arrested. That's karma for her, right? On the bright side, Dan and I close again." Leaning forward, Serena places Blair's favorite diamond bracelet on her friend's thin wrist and laughs. "How could I hate a guy that bails me out of jail? Anyways, I figured you might want to wear this. No offense, B, but those hospital gowns are awful."

All of a sudden Blair's eyelids flutter and open to reveal her chocolate brown orbs. Serena jumps at the sight, startled. Regaining composure, she squeals, "Blair? Oh my god!" the blond flings her arms around her friend, giving the brunette a tight hug.

Blair blinks a few times, trying to adjust her senses to the world around her. Abruptly, she begins struggling in the embrace. "Who on earth are you? Get _off _of me!" Blair shouts hoarsely, pushing against Serena.

Serena drops her arms immediately, shocked. "Blair, it's me, S! Are you - are you okay?" she asks timidly with wide-eyes. She's never seen Blair look so terrified before.

"Clearly I'm not! I don't even know what's going on, and no offense but I still don't know you, _S_!" Blair raises her voice again and suddenly a coughing fit seizes her. Serena reaches into her maroon Balenciaga bag, pulling out a bottle of Fiji and handing it to her friend, who yanks it out of the blond's hand and drinks it down quickly. As she writes a mass text to Chuck, Nate, and Dan with trembling hands, Serena begins to realize something is seriously wrong.

After the text is sent, Serena turns to Blair and touches the pale hand for a second before Blair yanks it away sharply. " Calm down, okay?" Serena says soothingly, "You've been in a virtual coma for more than a week! Car accident, remember?"

Blair's expression contorts to that of confusion. "Accident? When was there an accident?" She pauses, looking around at the machines surrounding her and the IV in her arm supplying her with liquid nutrition. "Am I... am I in the hospital?"

"Yes B, we're at St. Luke's," Serena replies shakily, hitting the nurse's button anxiously. She pauses. "Do you not remember what happened to you Blair?"

Blair is getting angry now. "Why do you keep calling me Blair? I have no idea what you're talking about!" She winces as she adjusts her position in the bed.

The nurse walks into the room, catching the last part of Blair and Serena's interaction. She looks from Serena to the brunette lying in the bed. "Is everything alright here?" the nurse asks.

Serena's stomach lurches nervously. "I don't... I don't think so. She, um... she doesn't recall who I am... or the accident. Or herself for that matter."

Blair looks at the nurse expectantly. "Listen, someone needs to give me some answers because I'm really scared, not going to lie. And I have a terrible headache. Can you get me some Advil or something please?"

The nurse nods her head and says softly, "I'll get right on that, sweetie." She shoots a concerned glance at Serena. "I'm going to page the doctor immediately."

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Chuck's phone vibrates and he opens it to reveal a text from Serena.

**-B's awake. Come ASAP.**

His vision is blurry because he is plastered and he must use the arms of the chair to push himself up and off of the seat. _B's awake_, he repeats in his head. Chuck staggers to the bathroom and observes himself in the mirror to make sure he looks appropriate for when he sees his woman. He flips on a light, wincing because the brightness hurts his eyes. The young Bass looks beyond a mess. He recalls that he shaved for the first week of Blair's long sleep but after she didn't wake up on the seventh day, he stopped trying. So now he looks at his reflection in the glass and is met with bloodshot eyes and scruffy facial hair sprouting from his chin. Chuck's dark hair is ruffled and his clothes are unkempt. "Lovely," he mumbles dryly. Chuck turns on the faucet and leans down, splashing cold water in his face, and then he quickly brushes his teeth. He shaves in record time and changes out of his wrinkled monogrammed pajamas into a light brown suit and a brown, black, and maroon plaid Burberry shirt. After adjusting a maroon bow-tie around his neck and running a fine-tooth comb through his dark hair (parting it on the left side as usual), Chuck checks himself out in the mirror again. "Not bad," he remarks with a smirk, impressed with his ability to clean up so well even when slightly inebriated. He stumbles into the elevator and out to his idling limo, promising himself that he will not screw up with Blair this time.

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Chuck bursts through the door of room 302 and is none too pleased to see a stony-faced Nate sitting next to Blair on the side of the bed opposite Serena. Dan is leaning against the wall behind his on-again off-again girlfriend with his hand gently grasping Serena's shoulder, who is crying. Chuck's sudden entrance startles Blair out of a light sleep and she looks around at people who are now like virtual strangers to her, frightened.

"Chuck. Glad you could take a break from the bottle to join us," Nate says quietly, not making eye contact with the young Bass.

Chuck holds his hands up to his temples and massages them. He's getting a headache and really doesn't want to fight with Nate right now. "Shut it, Nathaniel." Chuck turns his attentions to Blair, whose well-being is the only important issue on his mind. "How are you feeling, Waldorf?" he asks softly.

Upon hearing her voice, Chuck's heart swells with happiness and he feels as sober as the day he was born. "Just fantastic," Blair pouts sarcastically. _"_Why do you people keep calling me these names? Waldorf, Blair, B; I can't keep up!"

"Is this a trick question or something? Come on, Blair, you haven't been gone _that_ long." Chuck replies lightly, before noticing the tense expressions on his friends' faces.

Dan clears his throat anxiously. "Blair, uh, really doesn't remember us, Chuck. She kind of doesn't remember who she is, either."

Chuck feels as if his world has imploded. "_Kind of_ doesn't remember? Are you telling me Blair has amnesia?" he asks in disbelief.

Dan nods solemnly and leans in to kiss a distraught Serena on the top of her golden waves. Chuck stares at Blair in horror, terrified that everything he has just promised her he will never get to come true. Nate cracks his knuckles and breaks the silence. "Before you got here I tried to talk to her about her situation, but apparently she had taken some painkillers earlier. She was practically knocked out before I even finished a sentence."

"Listening to an Archibald tends to do that," Chuck remarks with a shrug, his dark eyes glued to Blair's tiny form. There is no bite in his words, no sharp intonation; his voice is rather devoid of emotion.

Dan let out a snort. "Oops. Sorry Nate but you walked right into that one."

Nate shakes his head and tries again, "Thanks Chuck. Listen man, we all came to a consensus that you should be the one to talk to Blair. You've always been good at telling it like it is. She needs straight answers right now."

Meanwhile, Blair is listening to their conversation and snaps loudly, "Um, excuse me? _'She'_ is laying right here and I'm pretty sure my hearing is still functional although my hideous appearance might suggest otherwise. Serena introduced herself now can somebody else _please_ explain to me who the rest of you people are? Sorry, but I'm really not comfortable being hooked up to some machine while a bunch of strangers ogle me like a zoo animal!"

"Well at least she hasn't lost her charm," Dan remarks jokingly, trying to alleviate some of the negative energy that is rapidly consuming the room. The room remains quiet, no one quite knowing how to discuss the situation with the confused girl.

"Well?" Blair asks expectantly, staring directly at Chuck.

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**Short, I know. I just want to break it off because there's a lot I want to write about for this scene and it's going to take a long time! The next chapter's going to be pretty long, though - don't worry! Also I'm not following the current GG storyline as of 2.24 because I write a lot faster than it takes for the episodes to air! Oh and on lovely side note, I apparently missed a final today, isn't that just swell? Haha... Anyways thanks for reading as usual :)  
**

**BimboBoop: Thanks for the fantastic review! I loved writing the flashback because I completely agree with you about that scene. I got a lot of satisfaction in altering how it turned out =) And to be honest I haven't read any of the fics on here with this storyline because I want to create it without any influence at all. Anyways, Chuck has a lot of love to give so keep that in mind!**

**sailor cyanide: I think if we could all marry Chuck, we would ;)**

**BrittyKay247: Hell yes I watched the promo and I cannot freakin' wait til next week! This week's episode made me cry... partly because of Chuck's oh-so-sweet actions, and partly because we missed out on a fully-developed episode because of Lily's boring flashbacks. I'm not sure I'm going to be a fan of the spin-off**

**To everyone else that reviewed, you guys are the bee's knees. In all seriousness, though, you rock!  
**

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**_UP NEXT: Blair gets enlightened._  
**


	8. You'll Never Walk Alone

**I'll Be Seeing You**

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Chapter title taken from "You'll Never Walk Alone" by Judy Garland**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_"Well?" Blair asks expectantly, staring directly at Chuck. _

Serena stands up and lets Chuck take her seat beside Blair. The blond takes Dan by the hand and whispers tiredly, "I need some air," before leading her sometimes-boyfriend out of the room.

Chuck shoots a glance at Nate, raising an eyebrow. "What's that look for?" Nate asks, feigning cluelessness.

"Don't play dumb, Nathaniel. If you want me to enlighten Blair then you're going to have to leave," Chuck says smugly. _Checkmate_.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck does not hate Nate Archibald; in fact, Nate is his best (and perhaps only) friend. However, when it comes to the woman that Chuck Bass loves, every man is his enemy. _After all_, thinks Chuck, _all's fair in love and war_. Nate glances over at Blair, who is quietly observing the exchanges between the two men, and upon leaving the room, he says to Chuck sharply, "Try not to play master manipulator this time."

Chuck rolls his eyes and looks Blair, feeling butterflies in his stomach when she sets her pretty brown eyes on his muscular form. He wants to pour out his feelings like he did the first night Blair was in the hospital, but he decides her condition changes the game a bit. "Okay, let's do it this way," he says casually, even though his heart is nearly pounding out of his chest, "Ask me what you want to know and I will answer you the best that I can."

Blair nods her head slowly. "Well you can start by telling me how you know me... Chad, is it?"

It hurts Chuck to hear Blair's question because it reminds him that everything that happened between them in the past simply never occurred in her mind. On the other hand, Chuck is relieved that he now has a blank slate upon which he can try to create the relationship he has always longed for with Blair. Pulling his chair next to Blair's so that he is sitting side by side with her, he begins to speak. "The name's Chuck Bass, actually." He smirks at the mention of his name and then continues, "You and I have a long history. There's a lot I can talk about in regards to... _us_."

"What do you mean _'us'_? Did we date or something?" Blair is intrigued by this Bass character, she decides. There's something about Chuck that is makes it difficult for her to look away. Is it the neatly slicked-back hair? _No, not quite... _His quirky attire? _His style is questionable, but still, no... _She can't quite put her finger on it. Not yet, at least.

Chuck raises his eyebrow, amused. "Let's just say that you showed me more than you've shown anyone else. Way more." He pauses, smiling slyly. "But that's a discussion for another day, princess."

Blair blushes and crosses her arms, trying to appear mad. "It really is low of you to hit on an amnesiac, Mr. Bass. It sounds to me like you have a case of wishful thinking. Tell me, do you take pleasure in harassing injured persons?" She pauses briefly to sniff the air and makes a disgusted face. "And why do you reek of booze?"

_Shit. _Chuck had forgotten to spritz cologne before he left. "While I don't pretend to hide my delight in watching other people squirm, I really am serious about this. About you, I mean. We had something good together, Blair," Chuck says earnestly. _Take it slow, Bass,_ he reminds himself, attempting to change the subject. "And as for my questionable odor... I like scotch. A lot. Do you want to hear about your home-life or would you prefer I find another amnesiac to seduce?" Sure, he's being snide, but Blair is as feisty as ever and so Chuck has to fight fire with fire if he wants to keep her attention.

Blair chews on her bottom lip nervously before caving in. "Okay, okay... Go on."

"Alright Blair, so your mother is Eleanor Waldorf. She's a fashion designer whose attitude is comparable to, say, the Wicked Witch of the West. You two don't have the best mother-daughter relationship. Your father Harold, he's a lawyer. Your parents divorced a while back and now he lives in France with his partner Roman." Chuck is hesitant in telling Blair about the strained relationship between her parents because of the time Eleanor told her daughter that Harold wasn't coming back for Thanksgiving. That was the night Blair relapsed into her bulimia (_She will never find out she had that disease_, Chuck silently vows).

"Partner?" Blair asks incredulously. "You mean he left my mom for a guy? That's actually kind of funny," Blair seems uncharacteristically nonchalant; she has no emotional attachment to neither her family nor her friends so this revelation is not particularly Earth-shattering.

Chuck shrugs, smiling. "He was always your favorite parent."

"Hmmm... well what about school? Am I home-schooled or something?" Blair asks curiously.

"You? Home-schooled?" Chuck snickers, shaking his head. "You go to a very expensive high school called Constance Billard and honestly, I have never seen you get less than an A in your life." He ignores the "B" that the nuisance known as Ms. Carr scrawled on one of Blair's essays. _Nothing wrong with a little embellishment of the truth_, he thinks in true Chuck Bass fashion. "Anyways, Blair, you're the queen of the school. You hold total influence over all the girls at Constance. You, Waldorf, have power and you are an expert at using it."

Blair leans closer to Chuck, mesmerized by the details the young Bass is giving her about her life. "Tell me more," she implores in a whispered voice.

Chuck looks into her seductively dark eyes and swallows nervously. He has the desperate urge to grab Blair's soft, thick hair with both hands and to ravage her lips and neck with such viciously hot kisses that she won't be able to contain her sighs of pleasure. Chuck breaks eye contact with Blair and pretends to fumble with his cell. He's aroused but he knows he cannot try to be intimate with her just yet. Chuck intends to woo Blair slowly, to show her he can be there for her on more than just a sexual level. He wants to be different this time around.

All of a sudden, the door squeaks open and in come Dan, Serena, and Nate; the latter eyes Chuck with evident suspicion. "How did it go?" Serena asks Blair anxiously. "Do you feel any better?"

Blair steals a glance at a Burberry-clad Chuck before responding, "Yeah... I mean, as good as I can feel in this situation. It's hard to look around and realize that I once had really close relationships with all of you guys when I can't even recall your names now."

Dan raises his hand awkwardly and says, "I think the extent of _our_ relationship was you calling me Cabbage Patch or Brooklyn while wrinkling your nose because of my inner-city stench."

Blair winces. "Ouch. I obviously don't remember doing that, but I apologize... um... What is your name?"

"Dan Humphrey. Ex-boyfriend, yet strangely close acquaintance, of Serena over here," he responds with a wink, "Pleased to meet you... again."

Blair turns to Nate. "And who are you? I'm so, so sorry I can't remember you guys after you have all sat here being so damn nice to me." Tears of frustration well up in her eyes and she hangs her head in her hands.

With Chuck looking on jealously, Nate puts his hand on Blair's back and makes small circles, trying to comfort the brunette. "I'm Nate, Blair, your boyfriend. Listen to me: this is not your fault! You can't help what happened to you. Besides, I'm here now to help you through this."

At this point, Chuck is seething. _Reject him, baby, reject him_, he says in his head, hoping that Blair will somehow read his thoughts.

Unfortunately for Chuck, telepathy only works in fiction, and so Blair lifts her head up to look at Nate with inquisitive eyes. "You're my _boyfriend_?" Nate nods. "And you still want to be with me even though I don't even remember us being together?" He nods again. Blair takes a few seconds to ponder her situation. "I'm scared you won't like who I am now. Or that who I am now means that I won't like you."

"All we can do is try, Blair," Nate replies gently.

Serena jumps in as well. "And honestly Blair, we have all been friends for so long that we aren't about to abandon you now. I know you don't see it yet, but you are like a sister to me and family sticks together."

"I'm sure _Chad_ won't mind hanging around either," Chuck says with a smirk, trying to keep himself involved in the conversation.

"Geez, Chuck I take it you aren't one to let things go!" Blair laughs, a tiny smile gracing her features. "Well I appreciate everything, you guys, really. You are all such great... _friends_." She emphasizes the last word, demonstrating that she is beginning to feel comfortable around them, rather than simply seeing them as strangers.

Nate clears his throat. "So how about it, Blair. Are you still my girlfriend?" She looks over Nate's shoulder to see Chuck glaring from the corner, arms crossed rigidly. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**I ended it this way because I'm not sure how long I want the story to be. The ending will still probably be the same but there are so many routes that lead to my preferred resolution that I don't know which one to choose! Decisions, decisions... On another note, I have a busy weekend ahead of me so updating will be slow.**

**PradaPrincess: I love emotional Chuck too! I think that he still has to be portrayed true to character, though, in that he can be a callous S.O.B sometimes =)**

**ggloverxx19: I'm glad you found the ending of chapter 7 funny. I figured that so much drama has been going on and so much more is yet to come that there needs to be some humorous interjection, and who better to deliver than Chuck and Dan?**

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_**UP NEXT: Blair makes her choice**_


	9. I Don't Know What I'm Doing

**I'll Be Seeing You**

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Chapter title taken from "I Don't Know What I'm Doing" by Dean Martin**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_Nate clears his throat. "So how about it, Blair. Are you still my girlfriend?" She looks over Nate's shoulder to see Chuck standing in the corner, arms crossed rigidly. He asks again,"Well?" _

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Blair sighs. "I'm really sorry, but I can't be your girlfriend. I'm not the same girl I used to be... I mean, I don't even know you anymore. I don't even know _me_."

"I totally understand, Blair," Nate replies hurriedly, nodding his head, "I just thought that... that... I don't know, I guess I don't really understand your situation right now. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable."

"It's okay," Blair says reassuringly, squeezing Nate's hand gently.

All of a sudden, four cell phones chirp in unison. Chuck is the first to flip open his phone, revealing a blast from Gossip Girl.

**Greetings Upper East Siders,**

**It seems our favorite Queen B's got a little case of amnesia. I guess that means a successor is needed sooner than expected. Who will it be? Little J? Nelly Yuki? Throw your headbands in the ring, ladies; there's an empty throne with one of your names on it!**

**XOXO,**

**Gossip Girl**

Chuck's face contorts angrily. _Bitch_, he inwardly swears.

"How did Gossip Girl find out about Blair?" Serena asks, bewildered.

Chuck shakes his head. "I don't know, Serena, but if I found out who leaked her condition, they'll pay." he replies through gritted teeth.

Blair looks curiously from Serena to Chuck. "Who's Gossip Girl?" she wonders aloud.

"Gossip Girl is the spawn of Satan," Chuck sneers in disgust, "She lives to make peoples' lives miserable."

"Uh, Chuck's explanation is a little... vague," Serena elaborates, "People send Gossip Girl little pieces of info about people our age, usually from Constance or St. Jude's. When Gossip Girl gets the tip, she sends out a mass texts to everyone and it usually ends up causing a lot of drama. I guess it keeps the Upper East Side interesting."

Blair crinkles her nose. "Really? That sounds awful. And this Gossip Girl found out what's wrong with me? Who would even tell her?"

Chuck shrugs his shoulders. "Who knows, Waldorf. Finding out the identity of an anonymous tipper is nearly impossible. Either way, we need to make sure you don't end up on there again. It can result in social suicide," Chuck states resolutely.

"I think the old Blair's already dead," Blair counters pensively.

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A few weeks later and Blair is finally out the hospital. Her cuts and bruises have faded, revealing perfectly smooth, porcelain skin once again. She walks with a walking boot, unfashionable as it is, and continues to wrap her torso in order to help her ribs heal completely. While her physical wounds have healed, her mental wounds unfortunately have not. The memory of Blair Waldorf is still floating around somewhere in space, unattainable by the brunette herself.

Serena and Blair are shopping at Bergdorf's for the first time since Blair's accident. S is throwing a huge party at her Hamptons home and it's also doubling as Blair's first public appearance since that fateful day. It naturally follows that both the blond and brunette want to look utterly fantastic - Serena simply wants Blair to command the respect that she possessed before she lost her memory. "B, check out this dress. You would look great in it!" Serena shows Blair a deep purple Michael Kors sheath dress.

Blair shakes her head. "No, no, no... That's too simple, I want something that's going to make an impression on people," she replies, "Plus it needs to cover up this huge boot. I don't think people will think much of me if I'm sporting a hideous, gray, plastic shoe."

"Come on, Blair, you can take the shoe off for five hours! Seriously, we'll just get you some flats and then your leg won't hurt as bad!" Serena protests.

Blair searches through more racks and groans. "Ugh, fine! If I break my leg a second time, Serena, it's on you!"

Serena chuckles. "Deal. What about this one?" Serena holds up a knee-length sepia-colored Zac Posen dress. "I think this is definitely you!"

Blair takes the dress and holds it up to her frame, looking at her reflection in the mirror. She shakes her head. "You say that this is 'so me' but are you talking about me now, or me prior to colliding with a car? This dress just doesn't feel like something I want to wear. I kind of like the dress you're trying on, actually."

Serena touches her hand to Blair's shoulder. "I'm sorry, B, I just thought you would like this. It's something you... you _would_ have liked, I guess. You really think the dress I picked out for myself is better?" Serena holds up a strapless black and tan Marchesa mini dress.

Blair appraises the dress a second time and nods vigorously. "Yes! This is exactly what I want! I've been getting the feeling that I'm supposed to be this boring little conservative thing... But I've been stuck in a hospital, I've been stuck trying to figure out who the hell I am, and all I want to do is be free for once!" She is getting emotional and so Serena guides Blair into one of the fitting rooms. The two sit down on the little seat inside of the room and Blair drops her head to her hands, crying.

Serena isn't quite sure what to say. She notices that Blair has the same biting sarcasm as she's always had, and she also notices that the brunette has the same covert fondness for Chuck Bass. The problem, Serena notes, is that Blair doesn't have the same interest in being Queen B. She doesn't care about perfect grades, or being prim and proper, or exacting revenge; Blair Waldorf only cares about _not being Blair Waldorf_.

"B... Tell me what's wrong," Serena coaxes her friend, who looks up with sad eyes.

"I just feel like everyone has this idea of who I have to be! I can't be Blair Waldorf because I don't remember that person, you know, S? I don't like all the same things that I used to like and I apparently don't want to dress the way I used to dress. There are just so many little quirks that compose this 'Blair' person and I can't possibly manage to possess every one of them," Blair sighs, defeated. "I really don't know how to describe it, Serena. What if I don't ever return to being who I used to be?"

Serena puts a comforting arm around Blair's shoulder and leans her head on top of the brunette's, her golden waves intermingling with Blair's coffee-colored curls. "Then you're the new and improved B, okay? There's nothing wrong with feeling different right now, Blair. I promise you none of us will judge you for who you become. Non-judging breakfast club, remember?"

Blair laughs through her tears. "Amnesiac, remember?"

"You know what I mean, B. We'll always be there for you no matter what," Serena replies soothingly. "Now try on that dress because we have a party to get ready for!"

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The girls arrive back to Serena's home in the Hamptons with shopping bags in hand and hair freshly styled. Blair ends up with the Marchesa dress that Serena had originally picked out, and Serena chooses a silver Ralph Lauren strapless. "You really do look fantastic in that dress, B," Serena comments happily. Her golden waves have been straightened for the party tonight.

Blair smiles. "See! I don't know why I always dressed so boring. Looking through my closet the other day, I wanted to burn every last piece of clothing." Blair's hair is styled in a low side ponytail, the crown of her head teased a bit.

"Yeah, you definitely don't look like the old B," Serena remarks. "Anyways, I can't wait for tonight. People will die when they see these shoes." The blond takes out a pair of silver stilettos that will only accentuate Serena's long, tan legs.

Blair observes Serena and then looks down at her own short, pale legs. "Lucky bitch. Look at these stumps and tell me anyone is going to look twice." Blair's shoes are simple black Prada flats. Her leg is still heavily bruised and so she decides to slip on a pair of tights to hide the injury. "Ugh, I really wish I didn't have to wear these," she remarks, disappointed.

Serena begins applying her make-up and gives Blair a side-eyed look. "Come on, B, you look beautiful. Trust me, people will be looking. And talking, at that. If you need anything you know I'll be there for you."

Blair stares at herself in the mirror, turning and posing, trying to appraise her look better. "I guess I don't look half-bad. But what am I even supposed to say to these people? I don't even remember any of them. I'm going to be the laughingstock of the Hamptons!"

"Blair, listen to me. I know you aren't confident right now. I understand that. But people don't know that. Fake it 'til you make it, right?" Serena reassures her friend.

Blair's eyes burn into those of her own reflection, trying to see inside of herself to find something that isn't there. "Right," she replies absentmindedly.

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**Short chapter but I have some fun ideas for the next chapter so it'll work out just fine =) No worries, Chuck will be there! I thought for this chapter it is more realistic that B and S are together. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I hope you are enjoying the story as much as I'm enjoying writing it!  
**

**Nyx Underwood: The sad thing is, Nate actually would think that Blair would still want to be with him. He's not the sharpest crayon in the box, as we all know. I felt I had to accentuate that in order to show why he isn't meant for our B!**

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_**UP NEXT: Serena's soiree and some sweet, sweet Chuck and Blair time  
**_


	10. How To Handle A Woman

**I'll Be Seeing You**

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Chapter title taken from "How To Handle A Woman" by Perry Como**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill**

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It's eight o'clock in the evening and many people have already arrived to the van der Woodsen summer home. Serena is already downstairs greeting her guests and leading them to an open bar that is set up in the largest room of the house. Meanwhile, Blair sits at the vanity in Serena's room, petrified to go downstairs. Her phone buzzes as a text message is received and Blair flips her cell open to read it. It's from Serena.

­**-B, come downstairs! Nate & Chuck r here!**

**-I can't, S. Ppl r going 2 stare.**

**-Who cares? It's my house n if they have a prob w/ u then they have a prob w/ me. Come down pretty plz? :)**

**-Geez, S, ur killing me ;) Be down soon! **

Blair sighs defeatedly. _It's now or never_, she supposes. The stairs leading down to the main hall look like they extend forever. Peering down over the banister, she observes what looks to be at least seventy people just in the main room. Judging by the fact that she can hear loud chatter even over the music, she figures that there are even more people outside. Blair hesitantly drops a foot down onto the first step, wondering when somebody is going to notice she's there. She steps again. And again. And again.

Suddenly the chatter nearly stops and the deafening music of Flo-Rida is the only sound Blair can hear. She feels eyes staring at her but keeps her head raised. A loud female voice calls out snobbily, "Well if it isn't Queen B! Oh wait, I forgot... You're just a washed-up head-case now."

The chatter resumes and Blair's head whips around to find the source of the comment, a tall dark-haired, dark-eyed girl who stands with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face. It's Penelope, but Blair doesn't remember her, of course. _Fuck timidity_, Blair decides. She narrows her eyes and starts storming down the stairs with her fists clenched at her sides. Striding furiously towards Penelope, Blair stops inches away from the girl's face and snaps, "And just who the _hell _do you think you are to say that to me?"

"I've taken over your throne, Blair. And if I do say so myself, it came at a fitting time. Falling for a Bass... You were getting pathetic. Maybe if you plead enough I'll let you hang out with us again," Penelope sneers.

Blair can feel her blood boiling. "Really? Well let me give you a word of advice _Queen_. I may have lost my memory but you clearly have lost your vision. That outfit is atrocious and isn't fit to be seen anywhere but on a thrift store rack. Never wear such a terrible ensemble in public again. And as for pleading to be friends with you? I've just getting to know you again and I can already tell that associating with you would be a worse fate than being stuck as an amnesiac for the rest of my life. Trust me sweetie, you aren't that special," she shoots back, her voice dripping with venom.

Penelope puts a hand on Blair's shoulder and says mockingly, "Don't worry, B, I know you'll beg to be one of us eventually."

"Doubtful. Get your hand off of me," Blair replies in a threateningly low voice.

Penelope doesn't oblige, instead keeping it there to agitate Blair further. "You should be happy I'm still talking to you, honey."

Blair has had enough. She grips Penelope's wrist tightly and roughly yanks the girl's hand off of her shoulder. "I'm done talking, freak. Step away from me if you don't want to end up with your jaw wired shut."

Penelope stares at Blair in shock. "You wouldn't dare," she replies sharply.

She leans towards Penelope's face and is nearly nose to nose with the girl. "Try me," she taunts. Penelope huffs angrily and stomps towards the outside patio. "Come back if you want to play again," Blair calls to Penelope as she walks away.

A group of people surrounding Blair nods their heads approvingly, clearly surprised by her more "hands-on" attitude. More than one are on their phones, texting to Gossip Girl about the brunette's antics with Penelope. Behind Blair, a deep voice breathes into her ear, "Nicely played, Waldorf."

Blair turns her head to the side to see a beaming Chuck Bass. "Thanks Bass. Do you want a piece of me next?" she replies playfully as "Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls emerges from the playlist.

He shrugs with a mischieveous grin on his face. "You could say that."

Hitting him with her clutch, Blair laughs. "I don't think you could handle me, Bass. You saw me just now!" She starts winding her body in fluid motions against Chuck. "This song is kind of fun!" she remarks and guides Chuck's arm to her hip, resting it there.

"I can handle you and more, sweetheart," Chuck replies. Chuck is getting increasingly turned on with Blair's backside grinding against him and he's pretty sure he won't be able to hide his arousal for long. Before he has something to be embarrassed about, Chuck adds, "But I have to say, I'm not much of a dancer." He flips her around to face him and runs his hands down her back, settling them right above Blair's ass.

Blair's body is pressed into Chuck's as she continues to tease him with her dancing. Chuck figures if there were any time to make love to her tonight it would be at this very second. He refrains himself, however. "Well then, Chuck, looks like you're going to have to prove yourself now doesn't it?" Blair flings her arms around Chuck's neck and plants a lingering kiss on his cheek before wrenching herself out of his grasp. "Let's go get drinks. I could use one after the bitch incident."

"Is that what we're calling it now?" Chuck smirks, pulling Blair into his side with his right arm wrapped around her. Watching as the crowd stares, parting for them, a triumphant smile spreads across Chuck's face. Blair is his woman and they damn well better know it.

"Mhm," Blair answers before ordering two shots.

"Sorry Waldorf, but I prefer scotch. You should know that by now," Chuck says with mock disapproval.

Blair looks at Chuck with a gleeful expression on her face. "Oh no, you silly Bass. These are for me." She takes down one shot and then quickly follows the first with a second.

Chuck orders a scotch on the rocks and notices Blair thinking pensively. "What is it, Waldorf?"

"Oh nothing," she answers casually, "Just trying to figure out what I want next."

"Try a martini. They're excellent," Chuck suggests, remembering that martinis were Blair's drink of choice pre-accient. He hopes that the drink might spark her memory or something of the like.

Blair scrunches her face. "Hmmm... alright, you've convinced me." When the bartender gives her the drink she sips it and shrugs her shoulders. "It's pretty good, actually. Nice choice."

In a very unlike Blair move, the brunette chugs the martini and grabs Chuck's hand, leading him outside and onto the porch. Leaning against a wooden railing that surrounds the deck, she wraps her arms around Chuck's torso and pulls him closer to her. She parts her cherry lips and asks quietly,"Do you think I'm broken, Chuck?"

Chuck furrows his eyebrows and stares into Blair's eyes intently, trying to search for answers in her big brown orbs. "Why would you ask that?"

Blair drops her gaze to the floor. "I don't know. Because I am a shattered version of my old self, maybe?"

"Are you crazy, Blair?" Chuck puts his hand under her chin and nudges it up so that Blair is looking at him once again. "If you haven't figured out by now, I think you're perfect no matter how you see yourself. Do you think I would visit you every single day you were in the hospital if I thought you were broken, Waldorf?"

Blair shrugs. "Maybe you were just being nice."

"The Bass men aren't nice to just any woman," Chuck assures her. He is about to lean in to kiss her when a tiny voice inside his head screams out, _Take it slow!_ He doesn't want to throw himself on Blair when she is just beginning to adjust to living in the real world again. He especially doesn't want their new first kiss to be now, when she's well on her way to being hammered. This self-restraint is killing him, naturally. _It'll be worth it in the long run_, Chuck convinces herself. He loves Blair so damn much that he'll do anything and everything to make it work this time.

Blair stands on her tip-toes and gives Chuck a long hug. "Thank you," she whispers. He sighs in acknowledgement and Blair rests her head upon his chest. The two stand there for a while in comfortable silence before Blair raises her voice and proclaims, "Time to get more drinks and find Serena!"

She throws a smile at Chuck before racing towards the bar again. "It's going to be a long night," he says to himself before walking back inside of the house. He goes to search for Blair when suddenly his path is blocked by one Nate Archibald.

"How's it goin' dude? This party's pretty awesome, huh?" Nate asks in a jovial tone.

"It's going fine, Nathaniel. Why aren't you cozied up with Vanessa? Last I checked you moved on pretty fast from Blair," Chuck responds casually.

"Vanessa? I don't know, man. She wanted to stay in Rome an extra couple weeks so I paid for her. It kind of seems like she doesn't really want to come back," Nate answers with a shrug, "It's not a big deal, though. She was only a rebound anyways."

Chuck pats Nate on the back and says with a chuckle, "That's what I like to hear, Nathaniel. You've got far too much going for you to buckle down with the likes of her."

Looking towards the open bar where Serena and Blair are standing and pounding shots, Nate nudges Chuck, "Man, look at them go. I'm glad to see Blair's having a good time. She deserves it after what she's been through." He pauses, staring at the girls for a second before turning back to Chuck. "Want to go upstairs for a minute and toke up? I've got enough for two or three bowls and no one's going to notice."

Chuck doesn't want to leave Blair but he agrees to Nate's proposal, knowing that her and Serena haven't really had a chance to hang out, what with him hogging her most of the night. The boys head upstairs into Serena's room and lock the door behind them.

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Half an hour later, Chuck Bass and Nate Archibald are completely blown. Nate lays sprawled across Serena's bed while Chuck relaxes casually on Serena's oyster chair. The two are laughing about nothing in particular, their conversation making little sense.

"Serena is just plain hot!" Nate protests with a chuckle. "I mean, Blair is beautiful but Serena is hot!"

Chuck points a finger at Nate lazily and retorts, "No, no, no, no! See that's the thing! Serena is hot but beautiful is so much better! Beauty is in everything that's great, but what sort of things embody the word 'hot'? You get what I'm saying?"

"You lost me a long time ago, dude!" Nate busts out in laughter.

Soon enough, the pair manage to pull themselves together and stumble downstairs, feeling as if they are floating on air. The party is still going in full effect and Chuck breaks away from Nate, squinting his eyes to search for the girls. Serena's golden hair shines like a beacon of light and Chuck uses her hair is if it were the Northern star, guiding him as he makes his way through the crowd. Serena dances wildly, her arms strung around a clearly inebriated Dan Humphrey. "Again?" Chuck smirks, catching Serena's attention.

"Shut up," Serena slurs as she leans in and begins kissing Dan sloppily.

"Where's Blair?" Chuck asks, interrupting the duo's moment by grabbing Serena's arm.

Serena looks at Chuck. "Blair? She was at the bar with Dan and I... I... Oh God, I'm going to be sick!" Serena turns around and bolts to the bathroom, Dan following close behind.

Meanwhile, Chuck heads to the bar. With no Blair in sight, Chuck's high fades away and panic sets in.

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**Woo! I had fun writing this chapter.  
Anyways, I'm not trying to make Blair too out-of-character but I think that if she went back to exactly how she used to be, then there would be no point in having the amnesia storyline at all, know what I mean? Oh and I really don't want Vanessa in the story so I took the backpacking thing from the finale episode and am running with that =)**

**Thanks to all my fantastic readers and reviewers!!**


	11. It Takes Time

**I'll Be Seeing You**

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Chapter title taken from "It Takes Time" by Doris Day**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Chuck pushes through the crowd of drunken teenagers, squinting his eyes and looking for any sign of Blair. This new Blair is unfamiliar to this sort of atmosphere, the type of place where sweat and alcohol pave the way for unfortunate circumstances. He searches the entire house before making his way outside to the patio. Still no Blair. Chuck jumps down the patio stairs two at a time until he hits the soft, cool sand of the beach. There are two beach chairs set up in the distance and, from what Chuck can see, two very drunk and very feminine bodies sprawled across them. A wicker table meets between the two chairs and Chuck cranes his head to try to see what is on it. He curses as as he feels the sand pile up inside of his expensive black loafers but that isn't important to him at the moment. Storming up to the chairs, Chuck sees Blair first.

"I was looking all over for you, Blair!" Chuck nearly shouts, utterly relieved to see her safe.

Blair looks up at him with doe eyes. Doe eyes that look familiar yet strangely different to Chuck. _Something is wrong with her_, he thinks. A smile creeps across her face. She begins to laugh. "Chuck you are hilarious! I'm fine, see, just fine. I made a new friend, we're going to go swimming after this. Can you imagine? Tiny Blair in the massive ocean?" She stands up abruptly, chatting erratically. "You wouldn't dare go in the water would you, Chuck? You're so uptight sometimes!"

Chuck knits his eyebrows together, staring at Blair quizzically. "What are you talking about, Waldorf? I think you need to be cut off."

"She's fine, Bass," a husky yet feminine voice interrupts the conversation from behind Chuck.

Chuck turns his head to the left and sees another brunette with voluminous hair that reaches past her torso. "What did you do Georgina?" he asks sharply, suspiciously.

Georgina Sparks stands up and smooths out the creases in her maroon sundress. She shrugs casually. "Why would you think I did anything?" Georgina asks with mock innocence. "Listen Chuck, you think I'm always up to something but did you ever think that I just want to be friends with her?"

"Why would I think you're up to something? You're a psychopath, it's that easy. And no, I don't believe you have good intentions with Blair. You don't have an ounce of good in your body, Georgie. We both know that," Chuck says seriously, "and I don't have patience for you right now so tell me what you did."

Georgina folds her arms over her chest, a stern expression falling over her face. "Listen, Chuck, and listen good. You can't pretend to know why Blair and I have always had such a... volatile relationship. We're one in the same, deep down. You know it too... Come on, losing your virginity to _me_ and pining after _her_ for so long? You're attracted to something we both share. I've always thought Blair was something far more than she let on. I think we'd make great friends and now that I have a second chance, I intend to befriend her. It'll be the best thing that's happened to her."

Chuck is dumbfounded. "So you... you _want_ to be friends with Blair now?"

"Are you deaf?" Georgina asks. "I just said I did. Pay attention, Bass!"

"I don't believe you," Chuck narrows his eyes, "and I don't think Blair would trust you even now."

Georgina giggles, a wild gleam flashing in her eyes. "She trusts me enough to snort blow with me."

Chuck grabs Georgina's upper arms with both hands. "Are you out of your fucking mind?!" He turns to ask Blair if this revelation is true when he notices she is no longer standing next to him. "GODDAMNIT!" Chuck shouts. He looks out to the dark waters and sees the Blair's small outline dancing in the waters.

"She's right, Bass! You're too uptight!" Georgina calls out towards Chuck, who is running towards the water.

"Blair, get over here!" Chuck demanding, shouting towards the brunette, who is clearly under the influence of drugs.

"Chuck, look at me swim! I'm Michael Phelps!" she laughs, diving under water before breaking the surface again, her dark hair matted to her face, glistening in the moonlight.

"Waldorf, I swear if you don't get over here now I am going to drag you out of the water kicking and screaming," Chuck threatens nervously.

"You're such an old man, Chuck. I can do anything I want, can't you see? My leg doesn't even hurt anymore! I'm a miracle!" Blair tosses her tiny arms in the air and throws herself backwards against a wave, making a tiny splash. "Come and get me!" she calls in a sing-song voice before plunging back under the water.

Chuck waits expectantly for Blair to come back up. Seconds pass and Blair is still under the water. His heart begins to pound even faster and he wades around trying to look beneath the surface. "Blair! Damn it, Waldorf, quit fucking around!" he yells.

Suddenly he sees her tiny body face-down in the distance. "Blair!" he yells again, swimming madly towards the still figure. Reaching Blair, he grabs her and flips her over. She is silent, eyes closed. "Blair, get up!" he pleads as he drags her towards the shore.

Plopping her back-first on the sand, he parts her lips and prepares to administer CPR. All of a sudden he hears a quiet snort of laughter. Blair can't contain her amusement anymore and laughter racks her body, her eyes flying open to see a furious Chuck. In the background, Georgina is doubled over, giggling uncontrollable. "Your expression was priceless, Bass!" Georgina gasps between laughs.

Chuck stands up abruptly. "Are you fucking serious? I'm done. I'm out of here." He turns on the heels of his ruined shoes and begins to walk away.

Blair gets on her feet shakily. The effects of the cocaine are starting to wear off and she is getting irritable. "Come on, Bass, it was just a joke! Stop being so fucking serious all the time!"

Chuck stops in his tracks and turns around. "A joke, Waldorf? A _joke?_ I thought you were going to fucking die. _Again_! You are stupid if you don't realize what you do to me, Blair. Exactly how did you think I would react upon the possibility - albeit false - of losing you for real this time?" He jams his hands in his pockets and shakes his head. "You know what? Don't answer that. You're too high on cocaine to give me a decent answer. I'm supposed to be the one that fucks up Blair, not you!"

Blair is silent as Chuck retreats towards the house. Georgina comes up next to Blair and grabs her hand. "Don't worry about it, Blair. Let's just get out of here."

The two don't bother to say goodbye to Serena as they leave the party.

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Blair wakes up in her bed the next morning with a splitting headache and a nauseous stomach. A knock on her door from Dorota does not help her situation. "Miss Blair! I come in? I have breakfast!"

The thought of breakfast makes Blair want to hurl but she allows the maid to come in anyways. Dorota sets a tray table over Blair's small form consisting of black coffee, orange juice, and a fruit plate. "Thank you Dorota."

Dorota nods her head and gives Blair a slight smile. "You feel alright Miss?" she asks, knowing Blair is hungover seeing as how her employer came in at nearly 6 in the morning, hardly able to stand.

"I feel awful, actually."

Dorota points to the two Advil on the tray. "I take care of you Miss Blair."

Blair smiles and puts the pills in her mouth, washing them down with orange juice. "Mother knows nothing of this, Dorota," Blair says with concern. While Eleanor has been quite a different person (a better person, in fact) since Blair's accident, the younger Waldorf does not want to disappoint her.

Dorota nods and exits the room, leaving Blair alone. Suddenly her phone rings. Serena. _Ugh_, she sighs. It's too early for making excuses.

"Hey S."

"B, are you okay? You left yesterday without even telling me!" Serena replies, hurt.

Blair rolls her eyes. "I'm fine, don't worry about me."

"Well Chuck didn't seem to think you were fine, Blair. What exactly happened between you two?" Serena answers.

"I don't know."

"You don't know? Did you black out or something, B?"

Blair clears her throat. "I don't remember anything if that's what you mean. All I know is Georgina brought me home."

"You were with Georgina?!" Serena shrieks into the phone.

Serena can almost see Blair crossing her arms and huffing as she says,"Yeah, so what? She's a cool girl. Besides it's not your business!"

Serena sighs audibly. She had told Blair previously that she'd always be there for her no matter what. Serena just didn't think Georgina would ever be a factor in the equation. "Okay, B. How about we grab lunch tomorrow?"

Blair agrees, hanging up the phone only to open it again when it vibrates. _Damn_, she thinks as she looks at the post from Gossip Girl, which shows a picture of her and Georgina dancing on a table wildly.

**Gossip Girl here,**

**Spotted: Blair Waldorf and Georgina Sparks in the same club - better yet, **_**on**_** the same table? Could it be these two are finally teaming up? Watch your backs, kiddies; I have a feeling the UES is about to get a little more interesting. **

**You Know You Love Me**

Life is complicated, especially in the Upper East Side.

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**Hey guys! How bad was Blair this chapter?? I loved this chapter because... it's just plain fun! Don't worry, Chuck isn't gone forever, but he's definitely shaken up after this. **

**nostalgiakills: That's exactly what I intended for Blair to do! It'd be quite boring if she simply returned to her old self, right?**

**dysenchanted2: I thought about that pairing as well. I'm not sure how much wild drama would be caused with them, though. I think Dair is cute, though, so we'll see!**

**LetMeIn1812: I agree. I think we're seeing Blair's innermost desires manifest in some... interesting ways. The old Blair would never have behaved this way just because of how other people would judge her.**

**TiffanyTam: Penelope isn't going to be much of a threat for Blair now, as you can **

**probably guess with this duo emerging. **

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_**UP NEXT: Chuck's reaction  
**_


	12. Somebody Cares

**I'll Be Seeing You**

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Chapter title taken from "Somebody Cares" by Perry Como**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill**

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In suite 1812, Chuck is shaking his head furiously upon seeing the Gossip Girl blast. For as long as he's known Georgina Sparks, he has never known her to do an unselfish deed in her life, and so it's painfully obvious to him that she is up to no good. Chuck decides that it's up to him to see to it that whatever it is that Georgina is planning, be foiled as soon as possible. He dials Serena's number and the blonde picks up after only one ring.

"Chuck! Did you see?" Serena says, not elaborating because she already knows his answer.

"Of course, sis," Chuck replies gravely, "But let ask you this - why the hell would you invite Georgina Sparks to you party in the first place?"

Serena searches for the proper explanation, stuttering nervously, "W-well she was there because of Carter. You do know they've been seeing each other, right?"

"_Carter_?" Chuck asks, bewildered, "And just why would Carter be there?"

Serena shakes her head even though Chuck can't see her. "He's doing me a really important favor that's none of your business. I have to tolerate Georgina until the favor's done."

Chuck laughs darkly. "God, now that's a pairing contrived by Satan himself." He takes a sip of scotch and paces about the room, thinking aloud, Serena listening intently. "So now, why would Georgina want to be friends with Blair out of all people?"

"I don't know. Maybe G's telling... the truth? I can't believe I just put G and truth in the same sentence." Serena clears her throat. "Listen, I'm supposed to meet Blair for lunch tomorrow. Maybe you can come and we can both try to talk to her? She doesn't know anything about Georgina besides what she experienced the other night."

"Fine," Chuck answers, "Tell me where and when and I'll be there."

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Not wearing her walking boot the past couple days has hindered Blair's healing process but upon observing herself in the mirror before lunch, she feels that the large plastic boot marrs her appearance and is thus expendable. Blair slips into a light pink sundress and nude flats before leaving to meet Serena for lunch. She does feel guilty for not saying goodbye at the party, but Georgina had been so convincing, so exhilarating. The taste of freedom makes Blair only want more.

Blair limps slightly as she makes her way to the café table where Chuck and Serena are waiting. "B, you should really be wearing that walking boot. Your leg's never going to heal!" Serena scolds her friend.

"Well hello to you too, S," Blair replies, sitting down and rolling her eyes. She soon darts them in Chuck's direction, "Why is _he _here? I thought it was just going to be you and I"

Serena begins to answer before Chuck cuts her off. "I'm here to tell you that you can't hang out with Georgina Sparks again. She's playing you, Blair. I promise you that."

The waiter walks by and Blair orders a water with lemon and a julianne salad before answering Chuck sharply, "And who are you to tell me who I can and can't spend time with? You aren't my boyfriend or anything, you know."

Chuck swallows his reply and instead lets Serena speak. The blonde says tentively, "Listen, Blair. I know she seemed cool at the party but you don't know how she really is. You don't know the things she's done. Before you were in accident, Georgina was so out of her mind she had to be sent away... and you had something do with that. Isn't that a little funny she would want to be your friend after what you helped put her in boot camp?"

Blair sits in silence for a few seconds, pondering Serena's explanation. "Maybe," Blair begins slowly, "just _maybe_, you guys can't stand that I'm making new friends on my own. Sorry that I'm reaching out to other people besides you and Chuck, Serena. I'm finally getting my life back together and you want to stop that? Some friends you two are." She stabs her fork into a tomato that rests atop her salad, sending juice and seeds splattering on Chuck's white shirt. Blair, standing up, slamming a fifty dollar bill on the table. "It's on me," she snaps as she walks awkwardly out of the café.

Chuck says something to Serena in a low voice before pushing himself away from the table and following the brunette. He quickly steps through the doors and down the street, where Blair is waiting for a taxi. "Waldorf, wait a minute," he demands, grabbing Blair's upper arm gently.

Blair stares at him with accusing eyes. "What, Chuck? Going to tell me what type of public transportation I'm allowed to take?"

Chuck rolls his eyes. "Will you shut up and listen to me for a second? Serena and I are not trying to control your life if that's where you're going with this." A cabbie pulls over upon seeing Blair's frantically waving hand. Chuck leans towards the cab window and gestures for the driver to keep going. "Come with me," he says sternly.

Blair wrenches out of his grip and folds her arms across her chest. "Why should I?" she asks angrily.

"Because it's for your own good," Chuck replies casually as Blair stares him down with furious eyes.

"For my own good?" Blair's voice becomes shrill, "You don't know anything about what's_ good _for me! You don't know anything about me at all, Bass! You can't decide what's _good_ for me now because I'm a completely new person!"

Chuck is getting impatient and hails his limo driver over. _This scene looks familiar_, he thinks. The brunette as stubborn as ever. "Get in the limo, Blair," he commands sternly.

"Oh, you are just unbelieveable! You think you can get anyone to do whatever you want! Well not me, Bass! I don't need another lecture from you about how to live _my_ life!" Blair slams her hands on her hips and narrows her eyes.

"You look so good when you're angry," Chuck says in jest before acquiring a more serious tone. "Listen, I'm not going to lecture you about Georgina or anything else right now. I just want to show you something. Maybe you'll see where we're coming from then." He reaches his hand out towards Blair.

Her hands remain firmly planted on her hips for a good thirty seconds before she purses her ruby lips and takes his outstretched hand reluctantly. "Are all Bass men as utterly frustrating and annoying as you?" Blair whines as Chuck leads her to his limo. When they situate themselves inside, Blair looks suspiciously at him. "What are you trying to pull? I'm not making out with you if that's what you think, Chuck!"

Chuck shrugs and says lightly, "I wouldn't expect you to make out with me when we've done far more... mature things in here."

Blair glares at him. "In your dreams! I would never have sex with you!"

"I never said we had sex but now I know where your dirty little mind is," Chuck says huskily with a triumphant smirk.

Blair searches for a response as her cheeks flush with embarrassment. "Well... well fine, what did we do then? I should know so as to never do it again!" she stammers.

"Oh you were right about giving it up, Waldorf, I just wanted to see you squirm a little before I admitted it," Chuck grins.

Blair slaps his arm. "You're such a creep!" she shrieks.

"I know," Chuck replies, "but you can relax now, we're here."

"Where is 'here'?" Blair asks irritably, looking out of the window.

The limo slows to a stop and Chuck gets out first, extending his hand so as to assist Blair out from the vehicle. Stepping on the sidewalk, Blair cranes her head and looks up at the large stone building ahead of her. Chuck puts his hand on her back and guides her towards the steps,where they both sit. "This is the Met. You used to come here to get away when everything became too much to handle. Serena knows you so well that whenever you ignored our calls or texts, she would come to this place immediately and here you'd be." Blair stares at Chuck with inquisitive eyes, wanting to hear more. "I don't expect you to drop Georgina from your life this second, although in my opinion, it would be a pleasant surprise. I know it's not that easy. But what I do need is for you to realize that there are people in your life that will unconditionally be here for you no matter what happens. I can't say that Georgina is one of them."

Blair shakes her head vigorously. "I need her right now. I need to feel like I have a choice in what I do. I'm not as delicate as people think I am. So I got in an accident. I'm walking aren't I? Look, Chuck, I just want to live like everyone else." She rests her head on Chuck's broad shoulder, closing her eyes.

Chuck's heart nearly skips a beat upon feeling Blair's presence. The smallest touch from her sends shivers down his spine. He sighs shakily, gathering himself. "And I want you to live like everyone else, too. I really do want you to be happy, despite what you seem to think."

"It seemed like the two of you were ganging up on me earlier," Blair says quietly, her voice laced with hurt and anger.

"We're just concerned about you, Waldorf. Georgina is no angel," Chuck responds.

Blair lifts her head and looks at Chuck, her sad, lost eyes burning into his. "The angels aren't on my side right now, Chuck. If they were, I wouldn't be sitting here trying to rebuild a life I don't remember having. I just need to have fun, to take my mind off of things. The last few weeks have been hell. It's nice to just... let loose. And Georgina, I know she is better than how you guys are portraying her. She stopped over last night to see how I was coping with my hangover - not well at all, might I add."

"Really?" Chuck quirks an eyebrow. "That still doesn't change my opinion of her. But whatever, just be careful. No more drug-induced night swims."

Blair looks at him quizzically. "What are you talking about?"

_She blacked out_, Chuck correctly assumes. "Don't worry about it, Blair. Keep control of yourself. That's all I ask," he responds quietly, putting a protective arm around her shoulder. Yes, he tells Blair what she wants to hear, but what she doesn't know is that Chuck intends to have her followed anytime she is out with Georgina Sparks.

"Mhm," Blair sighs, leaning into him. Her mind is already racing to imagine this Thursday's festivities.

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**A/N: Wow, 100 reviews... I never dreamed that would happen and I want to thank you guys so much for reading my story!! I hope you guys are still liking this and it's not getting too crazy for you, and I also hope it's not going too slow. I don't see an end in sight for this story yet!**

**On a more serious note, updating may be a little slower because I'm beginning partial-care treatment for a health issue. As is the case for most people, my health is my number one priority. I'll still try to get stuff out as fast as I can but I won't have as much free time. Okay? Okay!**

**MissDK: I'm definitely not having a Dair pairing in this story, no worries =)**

**LetMeIn1812: Yeah I loved writing that last chapter, it was so much fun! And yay lots of ?'s! Okay so... 1. Bad B is going to be reminiscent of Bad S... that's the best way I can explain it. She won't get arrested though ;) 2. As naughty as our Bass can be, he would never take advantage of B when she's in her party mode. He'll be both protector and partner-in-crime at the appropriate times! 3. Blair loves NY far too much to trip out and fly to Asia like Chuck, lol 4. Dorota wouldn't cheat on her doorman!! haha!**


	13. I'm So Tired

**I'll Be Seeing You**

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Chapter title taken from "I'm So Tired" by The Beatles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill.**

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It's Thursday evening and Blair is in her enormous bathroom putting the finishing touches on her appearance. She is looking forward to a night on the town with no strings attached - no overprotective friends, no overcompensating mothers, no overbearing maids. Blair dabs her wrists with her favorite perfume. _Perfect_. Blair smiles at the end-result of her efforts. "Tada!" she laughs, opening the bathroom door to reveal her tiny figure clad in a bright red Armani mini dress.

Georgina Sparks sits perched upon the edge of Blair's spacious queen-sized bed, hands neatly intertwined atop her silk-covered thighs. Dark hair gathered in a stylishly messy bun at the nape of her neck, she brushes a few loose tendrils behind her ear as she looks Blair up and down with searing dark eyes. "Not bad," she shrugs nonchalantly.

Blair's face falls a little but she immediately forces a grin as she cocks her head to the side, confused. "That's it? I think I look pretty good for only having a couple hours to get ready!" She had gotten dropped off late today by Chuck's driver. The two blossoming lovers had spent the afternoon together wandering around the city, occasionally stopping in random boutiques where Blair had picked up bits and pieces of what makes up tonight's outfit as a whole.

"Well, for the most part you do look good," Georgina starts, striding across the room and placing her pale hand on Blair's shoulder, "but, look at how your dress fits." G turns Blair towards the full-body mirror and pulls at the fabric around Blair's waist. "It looks tight, that's all. I thought you might want to know before we go out and people see you like this."

Blair looks at Georgina and back at her reflection in the mirror. Turning to the side, she runs her left hand down her stomach and sighs. "It looked good at the store," she says with disappointment.

Georgina, rifling through Blair's closet, answers cheerfully, "Most store mirrors usually make you look thinner than you are. It's deceiving, I know. Here, try this on."

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Georgina Sparks does not dislike Blair Waldorf. She _hates_ her. She has never stopped hating her, even after making a "lifestyle change" at Bible Camp. Georgina's always been a very good actress and - let's face it - even the Pope himself could not save this girl.

Of course, in G's eyes, Blair deserves everything she has coming. The Queen of the Upper East Side had always been just as frigid, as manipulative, as conniving, as Georgina herself, yet she always plays the victim. Blair's been a bitch to everyone, even her friends. How can Serena put up with that whore?

_Fuck it_. "Hm. Put the strapless back; your shoulders are too broad to pull that off." she remarks flippantly. Poor B... Poor stupid, naive, B. Not even for a split second does Georgina feel guilt as she delivers lash after verbal lash towards the petite brunette's figure.

Oh yes, G knows what her comments will do to Blair and that is the point of saying them. There is no way in hell that Georgina is going to allow Blair a fresh start. After all, our pasts come full circle.

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Blair goes through two more outfits, Georgina making little quips and comments in between. Finally, Blair settles on a simple black Yves saint Laurent dress and looks at G, eyes pleading for input. Georgina smiles, giving her seal of approval, and the two head out.

The night begins innocently enough at Marquee nightclub, where, after a few drinks at the main bar, Georgina introduces Blair to two male friends, Connor and Scott. Immediately Scott takes a liking to Blair, who is hesitant to remain at the table with him while Georgina leads Conner, hand-in-hand, towards the dance-floor. Sure, Blair is untethered by label, but it's a little less black and white when it comes to her heart. She has an intense attraction towards Chuck Bass, and she's pretty sure this physical attraction is mutual; what she is unsure of is whether or not Chuck wants her for her or if he's just holding on to pieces of who Blair _used_ to be. As far as she's concerned, her memory may never return and, in her opinion, it would make the most sense if Chuck would behave as if Blair Waldorf 1.0 had never existed.

"So what do you like to do for fun?" Scott breaks Blair's train of thought and hands her a shot of Ciroc vodka, looking at her encouragingly.

Drinking down the contents quickly, Blair observes Scott's features and soon comes to the conclusion that albeit excruciatingly handsome, he doesn't hold a candle to a certain oddly-dressed billionaire. Scott's hair is wild and untamed, his icy blue eyes hypnotizing. This stranger is the polar opposite of Chuck. _Maybe Chuck would be better off if I left him alone... _Blair contemplates before Scott taps her shoulder lightly.

"Oh! Fun, right!" Blair is embarrassed. "Well I -"

"Nevermind," Scott laughs, "Clearly something has you flustered. You sure you don't want to dance?"

Blair glances at Georgina and Conner, who are in a world of their own. "No, I think those two are about to make that floor their own private hotel room."

Scott shrugs and pours her another shot. "No biggie, then. I'm not much of a dancer to be honest, you just seem like you would be one."

"Oh, really? Why is that?" Blair giggles and takes the shot glass from him, wincing as the vodka travels down her throat.

Scott inches closer to her. "You just look like you can get... down." He swigs the alcohol straight from the bottle.

Blair leans over towards Scott and whispers into his ear seductively, "Maybe I can." She accepts another shot from the blue-eyed stranger and, instead of wincing, swallows it and crashes her lips into Scott's. The kiss deepens as Scott tangles his hands in her thick chestnut curls. Chuck's image floats into her mind as she is kissing Scott. All of a sudden, whether it be Chuck's face or the copious amount of alcohol she has thus far consumed, Blair is too numb to kiss him anymore. In fact, she feels nauseous. Pushing away from Scott with heavy arms and trying to stand up, Blair finds that her legs are like two anchors dragging her down. She is thankful when Scott wraps arm around her waist and guides her towards the door.

Once outside, Blair nearly drops to the ground, her body not listening to her commands. "You're pretty drunk, babe. Can you tell me where you live?" Scott asks as he hails a cab. Blair tries to speak but the sensation is as if her tongue has swelled ten times in her mouth. Nothing but small groan emerges from her cherry lips as a cab pulls up in front of them. "Okay, okay... You can just stay at my place and sleep it off, then," Scott remarks as she slumps against him inside the vehicle.

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Chuck sits in his limo outside of Marquee. He wasn't kidding when he vowed to have Blair followed when she was out with Georgina. His private investigator informed Chuck of her whereabouts and so since approximately 1:30, the young Bass has been waiting for any glimpse of Blair. Chuck's chest tightens as he thinks of the way she looked in that little red number she tried on today.

_Blair is radiant as she steps out of the dressing room in a gorgeous Armani dress, the fabric hugging her curves in just the right places. A smile crosses her face, a gorgeous, perfect smile directed only towards Chuck. He's delirious with happiness although habit ensures his pleasure is only marked by a smirk. "I need to have this dress!" she proclaims. A thousand bucks poorer, Chuck gazes at Blair as she peers into the Bergdorf bag happily. _

Chuck breaks from his daydreaming to scope around for Blair. He figures he won't miss her as she said she was going to wear the red dress he'd gotten her earlier. Eying a drunk blond who is stumbling past his car, Chuck decides she's pretty, but no prettier than any of the countless call girls he's had in bedroom over the years. He smirks as she rolls her ankle and falls before turning his attention to a guy in a white button-down helping his drunk date out of the club.

Chuck squints his eyes and observes the couple from afar. The girl is having trouble walking. "Women. Can't handle their liquor," he mumbles to himself. Upon further observation, Chuck notices something strange about the girl. Her right leg is bruised to high hell, and as the couple gets in the cab, that's when it hits him.

"Get behind that taxi," Chuck demanded, fury in his voice.

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She tries to turn her head up to look at Scott but it doesn't move. He begins to run his hand underneath her dress and all of a sudden it is very clear to Blair what has happened to her. Her body is completely immobile at this point and she succumbs to the most welcoming darkness as the stranger's eager, roving hands - the hands that poured and served her drinks earlier - explored her body.

After ten minutes or so the cab stops and Scott pulls Blair out of the cab, lifting her with one hand behind her neck and one under her knees. Walking up to his house, Scott hears another door slam and thinks nothing of it until a sickening blow to his skull brings him to the ground.

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It's five in the afternoon and Chuck is seething as he thinks about what happened in that taxi and what would have happened had he not of showed up. He wonders why she didn't wear the dress she was so excited about previously. He also ponders Georgina's whereabouts when everything took place yesterday. Nothing matters now, however, because Blair is safe with him and he will never let her go.

He sits in his favorite chair and watches Blair sleep. Chuck had brought her to his suite after the incident unfolded and she has been passed out ever since. No one needed to know what happened last night. If Blair was given the date rape drug, chances are, even _she _won't remember. _That's good,_ Chuck reminds himself. _She's been through enough._

Blair's tiny form looks lost in his king-sized bed. She stirs lightly, her dress from last night bunched up almost to her waist. "Blair?" Chuck asks, almost whispering out of fear of startling her.

"Mmm?" she answers quietly, her eyes still closed.

"How are you feeling?"

Blair opens her eyes slowly and sits up, looking around groggily. "Surprisingly not too hungover. So you finally decided to club me and carry me back to your cave, huh?"

Chuck smirks, though inwardly his stomach drops. "No, you came willingly, Waldorf."

Blair laughs. "Well if I was going to black-out and end up at someone's apartment, I'm glad it's yours!"

Before Chuck can respond, both of their phones vibrate. Gossip Girl, of course. _Perfect timing_. A picture of Scott helping a very drunk Blair into the limo appears on his screen and he looks on helplessly as Blair digs into her purse and opens her phone as well.

**Rise and shine Upper East Siders,**

**Perhaps our favorite amnesiac has wised up to the ways of our favorite motherchucker... After all, the only way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Tell us, B? Who is bachelor number 2? **

**XOXO**

Blair stares at Chuck, confused. "Do you know anything about this?" Her voice is quivering.

Chuck has no choice but to tell her now that Gossip Girl has ruined his plan. "Yes, Blair, I do. You went to Marquee with Georgina- you remember that, right?"

"Yes..." Blair says hesitantly.

"Right, and you and Georgina must have found some guys. Do you remember any guy hanging out with you?" he asks, his blood boiling thinking about the situation. Chuck doesn't want to talk about this.

"Yeah... Oh god, Chuck, just tell me. I had a one-night stand, didn't I?"

Over his dead body would Blair have a one-night stand with anyone but him. "Not a chance," Chuck responds, "but listen, Waldorf. Someone put something in your drink. He almost got you in his apartment, but I -"

"You _what_, Chuck? Were you watching me?" Blair nearly shouts, cutting him off.

"So what if I was, Blair, you were nearly raped and you're yelling at me for looking out for you?! I told you Georgina was no good and you didn't listen to me!"

"Oh, so it's my fault, that's what you're saying?" she stands up abruptly, her legs a little shaky from last night.

Chuck jumps to her side and gently pushes her back into a sitting position. "Listen ... Just listen for once. I apologize for following you but I was only doing it because Georgina is bad news. Where was she when this picture was taken? Some friend she is if she leaves you with a guy who drugged you and probably more!" His heart hurts as he says those words.

Blair sits there in silence, absorbing what Chuck is saying. She doesn't remember and for that she is grateful. Instead of replying, she looks at him with desperate eyes, tear drops hanging on to her long eyelashes briefly before making tracks down her cheeks. "I'm sorry," she says quietly. "I'm sorry I didn't listen. I'm sorry I took those drinks. I'm sorry I went with Georgina! I'm SORRY!" Throwing herself back on the bed, silent sobs rack her body. Chuck lays down and faces her, wrapping his arms around her body. She cries a bit longer before calming, the tears slowly coming to a halt.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," he assures her, stroking her hair. "I'm sorry I'm not better at this."

Blair looks up. "At... at what?" she says between sniffles.

"Geez Waldorf, make this harder," he jokes. "I'm sorry I can't be right for you. I can't say everything you want to hear or do everything you want me to do. Hell, I don't even think I'm comforting you the right way. I know you're going through a hard time with all of this going on and I hate that I can't do anything for you. I'm 150% confident in nearly everything that I do, but when I'm with you I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. I'm a damn mess when it comes to you, Blair."

Blair rolls her eyes and smiles weakly. "If you're a mess, I'm a disaster zone." She nuzzles deeper into his chest. It's with Chuck that her world stops and she's not ready for it to start back up again. Tired... yes, she's just tired.

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**A/N: I know that it's been like two months since I've updated. I'm VERY SORRY =( **

**Been feeling pretty weak lately but I don't want to get "better". Gah. I had a rough couple months so I haven't really been able to write. **

**Anyways, I really liked this chapter. What about you? Hope people will still want to read this; let me know!**

_**NEXT UP: Happy chapter. Chuck and Blair talk about dating, Blair and Serena have lunch and Dan is just cute. **_


	14. Good Day Sunshine

**I'll Be Seeing You**

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Chapter title taken from "Good Day Sunshine" The Beatles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill.**

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The next morning, the tantalizing smell of french toast wafts throughout the suite, awaking Blair, who has been asleep for what, to her, seems like a week. She drags her fingers through her tangled curls and yawns, her hand instinctively reaching out for Chuck's. Nothing but air. Blair is more alert now, and snapping her head to the right, she sees that the space beside her is empty. "Chuck?" she calls out anxiously.

Dazzling brown eyes peek out from behind the kitchen door. "Sleeping Beauty awakens," he comments with an amused quirk of the eyebrow.

Blair bites her lip, trying to hide a beaming smile. "Yep. How long have I been sleeping?"

"Nearly fourteen hours. I was getting ready to have Dorota come over and shake you awake, although I'm not complaining about having a beautiful woman in my bed," Chuck replies, walking towards the bed with a tray full of breakfast - french toast, a bowl of fresh strawberries, and glasses of orange juice and water.

Blair can no longer mask her contentment as Chuck sets up the tray over her lap and sits down beside her. "_You _did this? It looks amazing!" she marvels.

"Well I had a personal chef make it," Chuck grins, shrugging. "but I set it all up on the tray. Give me a little credit, Waldorf."

Chuck stares at Blair as she bites into a strawberry, its sweet red juice staining her lips. She lets out a giggle as the juice trails down her chin. Chuck smiles, running his thumb beneath her lips. "Was the old me such a slob?" she asks, laughing again as Chuck tastes a strawberry and accidentally squirts juice all over himself.

"Damn it," Chuck curses.

Blair rolls her eyes. "Don't be a baby," she teases him, dipping a napkin in the glass of water and dabbing his shirt.

"I'm not," Chuck argues. "Now eat. I want to go out and breathe some fresh air today."

"Fine, fine," she replies, taking a bite of french toast and washing it down with a sip of orange juice. Blair takes a couple more bites before looking down at her plate and thinking of Georgina's words the other night. _It's not healthy anyways,_ she figures, deciding to forgo the french toast.

Meanwhile, Chuck walks over to the closet and grabs a crisp green shirt off of its hanger. Blair, chewing on another strawberry, watches him silently as he unbuttons his stained white one, tossing it to the side. "Quit checking me out, Waldorf," he says, his turned back hiding a devilish smirk. Of course he knows she is looking at him but this is all part of his grand plan. First, he had to establish the friends connection. Done and done. Now he is establishing the physical connection. All that will soon be left is that last hurdle, making the romantic connection. Sure, Chuck is complicated, but he is also calculated; Bass Industries requires it of him.

Blair crosses her arms. "I wouldn't dream of it!" she says indignantly. Of course, she doesn't mean that, and her eyes sparkle as he removes his undershirt. Her breath hitches in her throat as he turns around, displaying his tanned, toned torso.

"Which pants should I wear? These," Chuck gestures to the black pants he is wearing now, "or these?" He holds up a pair of blue and green plaid ones.

For a second, Blair is speechless. By now, she knows exactly what he is doing. Oh yes, Chuck Bass is trying to seduce her! Chuck looks at her expectantly. One part of Blair wants to tell him to fuck off for thinking he can have her swooning over him just like that, and another part of her wants him out of those pants as quickly as possible. It is strange, she thinks, that in all the time she's been out of the hospital, the only time she's had a genuine smile on her face is when she is with Chuck. Perhaps he's not just trying to seduce her... Instead of answering his question, her lips betray her. "What are we, Bass?"

Chuck does not expect that. He drops the plaid slacks to the floor. "What do you mean, Blair?"

Blair sighs. "You know what I mean. It's obvious we have a connection. If I can see it, you can see it. Do you... do you want to be something?"

He remains silent. At this very moment, she reminds him of the old Blair, the Blair at the bar who had asked him for the last time if he loved her. It scares Chuck how her chocolate eyes seem to bore right into his soul. Things were not going according to plan. "Wh-what do you mean 'something?'"

"Something _more_, Chuck."

_Fuck_. His world is spinning right now. Thoughts are crashing into each other so fast that he can't translate them to words and all he can think about is how he failed her and put her in this position in the first place. His palms are sweating, his heart pounding, his legs tingling. Goddamn it, Chuck is not good in these situations. He feels his head begin to shake from left to right. _Stop it, fool! Say yes!_ Chuck tells himself. Too late.

"Oh." Blair's face falls. "Okay. Well maybe I should be going. My mother's probably wondering where I'm at, anyways." She begins to place the tray beside her.

_No, no, no, no, no_. _This cannot happen again. No. _Chuck kneels against the bedside. "Wait, Blair." He grabs her tiny hand in desperation. She can't walk away from him again. "Listen, remember when I told you I was a mess around you? I'm not kidding. I say no when I mean yes. I push you away when I need you the most. I cause more trouble when I try to make things right. I'm sorry if I confused you, Waldorf . Let me be clear - I absolutely want to be with you."

Chuck's stomach remains in a knot, scared of Blair's reaction. He has never taken a leap like this but he's a Bass, and the Bass men aren't strangers to risk. Blair stays still for a moment, a solemn expression on her face. Suddenly, her strawberry-red lips curve upward. Blair reaches an empty hand out and takes Chuck's, pulling him of the ground and on top of her. "So, do you really mean it or is this one of your 'yes means no' things?" she asks playfully, touching his face gently.

Chuck brushes her dark curls back. "Very funny," he smirks.

Blair suddenly turns serious. "You know, I don't want you feeling sorry for me to be the only reason you are with me."

"Stop it, Waldorf. You're my dream girl, memory or no memory," Chuck assures her, leaning down and kissing her passionately before whispering with a grin, "So much for getting fresh air today."

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**A/N: I know this is a very short chapter but I wanted it to be a fun, light read because the story in general is pretty heavy. Initially I intended to put in a Serena/Blair dialogue but I think this chapter can stand alone. B/S friendship will come next chapter! Hope you enjoyed this one - thanks to my readers & reviewers!**

**carleymarie: That was really one of the best compliments a writer can get, to say that the characters are believeable - Thank you!**

**LetMeIn1812: Thank you! G being a bitch in the last chapter serves a bigger purpose, which you will see soon! And you know Chuck, like he would ever let B have a life without him, especially one involving G ;) **


	15. Bella Bella Bambina

**I'll Be Seeing You **

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Chapter title taken from "Bella Bella Bambina" by Dean Martin**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill.**

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_The past few months have flown by quickly, and the relationship between Blair and Chuck has progressed just as rapidly. August brought the first day of college at NYU for our memory-challenged Blair, who has adapted rather well to university life considering her extraordinary circumstances. With September came Chuck and Blair's exclusivity, as well as Georgina Spark's admittance to the Singer Center on Riker's Island. Crime doesn't pay, kiddies, and neither did the undercover cop that busted G for selling cocaine! October brought with it Blair's slimmed-down figure, a result of a stringent diet she implemented upon herself after Eleanor casually suggested B lose a few pounds. With that, dear reader, we've finally come to the chilly month of November. I wonder what the holiday season will bring…_

**November 17, 2009, 5:45pm **

**Waldorf Penthouse**

"Truly, Blair, I would love it if you took another hour so we could be late for dinner," Chuck complains from outside of Blair's bedroom door.

Blair leans into her vanity mirror and applies her favorite red lipstick, Rouge Allure by Chanel. "Shut it, Bass, perfection can't be rushed!" she yells back playfully.

Of course, Chuck doesn't really mind that Blair is taking her sweet time because he knows she will look stunning as usual. He is right, because when Blair opens up her bedroom door, Chuck's heart nearly stops. Blair spins around, showcasing her slim figure in a newly purchased Herve Leger dress that hugs her body in all the right places. Her porcelain skin divinely contrasts with the emerald color of the dress, and Chuck thinks that he may have just died and gone to heaven.

"You look absolutely breathtaking," Chuck whispers in her ear as he wraps Blair in his arms, "I might have to have you for dessert." He presses his lips against Blair's while tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Mhm," Blair sighs contentedly into his neck before pulling away teasingly. "I would say dessert can come first tonight, but I couldn't possibly make us lose your precious reservations."

"Oh, you are pure evil, Waldorf," Chuck smirks as he takes Blair's hand in his own and leads her outside to his waiting limo.

The couple arrives at Masa right on time. The maître d' leads Chuck and Blair to a private table in the back of the elegant restaurant. Atop the table is a bottle of Dom Pérignon, with two champagne glasses and a flute of freshly chopped strawberries flanking the bottle's sides. Chuck pulls out a seat for Blair and then sits himself while a server approaches the table.

"Hello Mr. Bass, Miss Waldorf!" the server greets the pair boisterously, "My name is Ken, I'll be serving you this evening. Here are your menus; I'll be back soon to take your orders!" He's very excited for this particular table, for the bill is never cheap when Chuck Bass is a customer.

While Chuck pours the Dom into each champagne glass, Blair opens her menu and immediately eyes the salad options. Chuck knows what she is up to and takes the menu out of her tiny hands. "No rabbit food, Blair. Not tonight. It's your birthday and you are getting the most delicious and expensive items this restaurant has to offer, understand?" he says with a tone of finality.

Blair laughs, replying, "Yes sir. Would you like to tell me the proper way to fold my napkin, too?" In the past few weeks, Chuck has made mention of Blair's ever-shrinking figure, and she doesn't have any more excuses to offer him. For tonight, Blair decides, she will appease his concerns. _I can do this_, she thinks to herself.

The waiter returns and asks for their orders. Chuck answers, "Bring us the white truffle rice, the masa toro with caviar, the naked oyster in citrus sauce –" he throws a mischievous smile in Blair's direction before continuing, "and the chiba beef. Oh, add in the lobster and foie gras; that sounds decadent. I think that should be enough, thank you."

"Very good, Mr. Bass," Ken says, nodding his head before turning towards the kitchen.

"So, _Mr. Bass_," Blair teases, "is this your plan, to stuff me so full of food that I forget you haven't gotten me a birthday present?" She loves giving Chuck a hard time, particularly because Chuck hasn't gotten it through his head that this new Blair doesn't care about how expensive the food is or how exclusive the restaurant is. Truthfully, she doesn't even care about getting a birthday present. Really, Blair is just happy to be alive after that car accident, albeit a little damaged.

Chuck takes a long sip of his champagne. "Actually, your present hasn't arrived yet," he replies casually.

Blair's interest is immediately piqued. "What could you possibly have gotten me that I don't already have? If you're telling me you've found my memory in the hands of a Central Park hobo, I would be genuinely thrilled!" she joked.

"I don't know, Waldorf," Chuck shrugs with a smirk, "You're just going to have to see for yourself later tonight."

The two banter for nearly twenty more minutes before the server arrives with several plates of savory creations. The smell is heavenly, and Blair suddenly remembers why food is her enemy. Her promise lingers in the back of her mind. She _will_ eat; no, she _has _to eat. Chuck observes Blair as she hesitantly takes a bite of the masa toro.

"Oh my God, Chuck, this is delicious," she marvels, the luxurious taste of the sushi roll immediately signaling to her stomach that it was finally about to be fed.

Chuck smiles, relieved. "Good, I'm glad you like it. I want tonight to be perfect for you." He takes a heaping spoonful of the white truffle rice into his mouth and washes it down with a swig of the Dom Pérignon. He doesn't pretend to ignore the fact that Blair is having issues with food, just as she did before the accident. For that reason, Chuck is vigilant about making sure her meals are frequent, as small as they may be. A sick part of him wants her to be ill again, if only for the fact that it might remind her of her old self. Chuck knows that the thought is selfish, but while Blair's seemed to accept the fact that her memory is lost, he has not.

In between desperate bites of the rice and the chiba beef, Blair finds time to finish a glass of ice water. She resumes eating and Chuck watches in patient fascination. He doesn't think he's ever seen Blair eat this fast (or this much, for that matter). All of a sudden, the feeding frenzy comes to a halt and Blair's cheeks flush pink with embarrassment. "I'm sorry," she whispers, lowering her eyes to her plate.

Chuck leans across the table and tilts her chin upwards, making her eyes meet his. "You didn't do anything wrong, Blair. You ate. It's human. And _this_ human wants more lobster," Chuck grins, dipping the soft white lobster meat in golden butter and devouring it gluttonously.

"I know, I know. And I really do appreciate you taking me out. In fact, I appreciate it so much that I may just make it up to you tonight," she says flirtatiously

Chuck smirks. "You're making me want to bring this date home sooner than later, Waldorf."

"Relax, Bass. Good things come to those who wait," Blair reminds him jovially, standing up and giving him a full view of her form. "I'm going to freshen up, okay?" Chuck nods and takes out his cell phone to text Nate while he waits for Blair's return.

Meanwhile, Blair enters the ladies' room hurriedly. She studies herself in the mirror, carefully and thoroughly. Poking at her stomach, which is protruding slightly due to the amount of food she has eaten, Blair suddenly has an idea. It's a bad idea, she knows, but it is perhaps the key to relief. Timidly, Blair enters a stall and kneels down on the marble floor. _It's okay_, she thinks, _I'll only do it this once_. She urgently shoves a finger in the back of her throat, and to her surprise, the contents of her stomach come up easily – too easily, in fact. Her eyes begin to water, but Blair can't stop, she realizes. As the food rises up, the tears begin to fall, and Blair is now aware that she is crying.

Soon, nothing more can be purged, and Blair rests her back on the stall door, exhausted and upset. She closes her eyes and tries to take a deep breath, but it is no use; the tears keep spilling. "Come on, B, get it together," she coaches herself, "Count to ten… one… two… three… four… f –" Abruptly, Blair becomes silent. She could swear she's calmed herself down this way before in the same position in which she now sat. _But this is my first time doing it... right?_ "Of course it is," she answers herself aloud. Blair stands up on shaky legs and moves to the bathroom sink to reapply her make-up. "Okay, Blair, keep it to yourself. You don't know that you've done this before so you can't make a big deal out of it. Nobody likes a drama queen," she commands audibly, making sure she looks as immaculate as she did before she entered the ladies' room.

Exiting the bathroom, Blair opens her cell phone and begins to text the one person who knows everything about her: Serena.

**I might have had a potential br8kthru, S.**

**Ur kiddin me! Wat happened??? **

**IDK if I can say!**

**Y? **

**I'm embarrassed! It mite not mean nething neways.  
**

… **Call u in 10, B?**

**Cant talk now. W/ Chuck. Call u wen I can. **

Hopefully Serena can help Blair figure out what has just happened to her in the bathroom of Masa, because Blair sure as hell does not want to tell Chuck what she just did.

Chuck watches as Blair walks back to the table in that sexy green dress of hers. "Are you ready to go, gorgeous?" he asks, standing up. The bill has already been paid; Ken is sure to get a fantastic tip as it had cost over five hundred dollars to eat at this particular restaurant.

"Yes," Blair replies, linking her arm with his. "What's next on Bass' Birthday Itinerary?" Chuck doesn't respond, but merely leads her outside of Masa, where two beautiful white horses are standing harnessed to a luxurious carriage. Blair gasps. "Is this for us?"

"No, Blair, it's only for me," Chuck kids as Blair crosses her arms in mock anger. "Of course it's for us."

She smiles happily as the carriage driver assists her into the carriage's velvety backseat. Chuck quickly joins her and the driver begins guiding the horses into motion. A little radio on the floor of the carriage is playing Dean Martin, one of Chuck's favorite singers. Resting her head on Chuck's shoulder, Blair whispers, "Thank you for tonight. I needed it more than you know."

Chuck looks down at Blair curiously. "Anything for you, Blair, though I'm inclined to wonder why you needed it so much. Everything is good between us, right?" he inquiries, suddenly nervous he might have done something wrong.

"Oh, of course everything is fine, Chuck! I just meant that tonight was the first night I realized I can have a future without knowing my past, that's all. You don't ever have to worry about us," Blair convinced him. Obviously, Blair doesn't want to tell Chuck that she might have found a piece of the puzzle because this particular piece comes with consequences she doesn't want to deal with right now. Now that she knows she can hope for her past again, there is no way Blair can go back to accepting this new version of herself.

"I have something for you," Chuck says, breaking Blair's train of thought.

She lifts her head off of Chuck's shoulder and eyes him inquisitively. "You do? And what would that be? You're already making my night perfect."

As the horses guide the carriage through Central Park, Chuck pulls something long and thin out of one of his trench-coat's deep pockets. Blair immediately recognizes the item as an envelope. Taking it gently from Chuck, Blair opens the envelope and gasps at its contents. "Tell me these aren't tickets to Paris. I've been dying to meet my father ever since the accident. You didn't have to do this, Chuck, you really didn't. I – I don't know how to thank you."

"Tell me you love me and maybe I'll take you with me," Chuck smiles, leaning down to kiss Blair.

"Oh God, Chuck, I love you so much," she breathes into his ear before snaking her left hand around the nape of Chuck's neck. She pulls him down closer to her as she sinks further down into the plush velvet of the carriage seat, the kiss deepening. Grabbing Blair's dark curls in one hand, Chuck runs the other one up her milky bare thighs, which haven't been clothed by stockings since the accident; Chuck doesn't mind as it makes moments like these much easier.

Blair's breath hitches in her throat as Chuck's fingers stray dangerously close to her panties. She wonders when Chuck will realize that even he can't get away with having sex in a carriage.

"I know what you're thinking, Blair," Chuck whispers huskily as her panties are pushed to the side and two fingers urgently enter her. "He's on my payroll."

* * *

**A/N: I'm so sorry that I haven't updated since August! Circumstances didn't allow me to write but I found inspiration to write a happy chapter after writing a depressing one for a different story. I also found it appropriate to use the "One Tree Hill" jump-ahead formula (albeit I only jumped months, not years) because I feel the story can progress much better from this point. If anyone still reads this story, THANK YOU!**


	16. More Than You Know

**I'll Be Seeing You **

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Chapter title taken from "More Than You Know" by Rosemary Clooney**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill.**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**

Blair is awoken in the morning by the sound of Chuck snoring. Groaning inwardly, she leans over and reaches for her phone on the nightstand. Upon checking her phone for messages, Blair sees that there are six unread texts from Serena in her inbox. _Damn it!_ Blair thinks to herself. She had gotten so wrapped up in last night's festivities that she'd forgotten to call Serena like she promised she would; then again, when Chuck Bass plans your birthday celebration, there isn't much time to remember the details.

Realizing she is unclothed, Blair stretches across Chuck to retrieve his button-down shirt that had been so carelessly discarded on the floor the night before. Chuck stirs in his sleep mildly and so Blair whispers a quiet "Sorry, babe," before grabbing the shirt and settling on her side of the bed.

As Blair slips the shirt sleeves on her arms, Chuck's snoring stops abruptly and he turns to look at his girlfriend through groggy eyes. "You're up early," he remarks before yawning.

Blair smiles sweetly and ruffles Chuck's unusually messy hair. "Well if there wasn't a jackhammer going off in here, perhaps I could have slept longer."

"Oh, it's not that bad." Chuck comments, observing as Blair buttons up his shirt. With new-found energy, Chuck rolls on top of her. "Where exactly are you off to this morning?" he asks, toying with the top button of the shirt.

Blair cups Chuck's cheek gently before answering, "None of your business. I've got some matters to straighten out today. _Private_ matters."

"You mean you're scheming without me? But I thought we were a team," Chuck replies with mock disappointment. He leans down and kisses her lightly on the lips.

Blair returns the kiss with fervor before playfully wrestling Chuck off of her. "Oh shush. I've decided to give you a day off from the Sherlock and Watson act. You'll thank me later," she answers casually.

A gleam appears in Chuck's eye before he smirks, "Somehow I predict you'll be the one doing the thanking."

"God, Bass, your charm is irresistible sometimes," Blair jests, collecting her dress and undergarments and heading to the bathroom to change.

After changing, Blair exits the bathroom with phone in hand as she texts Serena.

**S, r u home?**

**Yeah. Thx 4 calling me back!**

**Sry. Chuck & I were… busy.**

**Oh gross B! So what's up then?**

**Need 2 talk. I'm coming over in 20.**

Blair is relieved that she has Serena to talk to as the blonde has always been there for her (at least as long as Blair could remember). Blair walks back into the bedroom, where Chuck is busy shoving his legs into the pants of his yellow and blue work-out attire. "I see you're about to get your daily exercise of walking to the limo and back," she teases Chuck before rising on her toes to kiss his cheek.

"Very funny," Chuck replies, "Actually, Nathaniel and I are going for a run in bit. You, however, have yet to say what you are going to be doing."

"You? Run? Let's be real here; you haven't ran since 6th grade gym class," Blair retorts as she applies lip gloss nonchalantly. "Anyways, I told you I have some private affairs to tend to this morning."

"Oh, please. You haven't been away from me for longer than a few hours a day. What could you have possibly gotten yourself into that I – or Gossip Girl for that matter – wouldn't know about?" Chuck inquires as he bends down to put on running shoes that looked far too expensive to use for exercise.

Blair doesn't want to tell him about the déjà vu moment she had at the restaurant last night, because she doesn't want Chuck to know what she was doing in the first place. It isn't a big deal, she reasons, but until Serena advises her on what to do, Blair decides to keep quiet about her possible breakthrough. "Look, Chuck, I'm going to Serena's and that's all you need to know. I promise you, nothing is wrong," she reassures him.

"Fine," Chuck sighs, "Are you planning on eating breakfast before you leave?"

Blair rolls her eyes. "No, Chuck, I'm not. I really have to run, okay?"

Chuck gives her a chastising look. "You need to eat more, Blair."

"And _you_ need to stop acting like my father," she replies, annoyed. Sure, she's been feeling dizzy a lot lately, but that doesn't mean a thing, and Blair is not going to allow Chuck to police her like a dictator instead of a boyfriend. "I'll check in with you in a few hours, okay? Love you!" she calls as she hurries out of the suite and over to Serena's place.

* * *

"Hey, B!" Serena's jovial voice greets Blair upon seeing her best friend walk into her bedroom.

Blair smiles warmly before enfolding the blond in a happy embrace. "Hey, S. It feels like forever since I've seen you."

Breaking from the hug, Serena gathers her perfectly tousled hair into a ponytail and moves to sit on her bed. "I know! I've been super busy working in Tripp's office. The workload is heavier than I thought it would be."

"I can imagine. How is working with him, anyways? Nate must be reeling with jealousy," Blair responds cheerfully, unconsciously tugging the fabric of her green dress away from her stomach.

"It's good, I guess. Tripp's a really nice guy, but he's more of a 'hands-on' boss if you know what I mean," Serena shrugs, a guilty expression shadowing her features.

Blair's jaw drops. "You didn't!"

Serena doesn't respond and Blair's natural instinct is to scold her friend about her indiscretions. Instead, Blair's voice takes a softer tone. "Well, we all make mistakes. I know I have…"

"What do you mean by that?" Serena asks, cocking her head to the side in curiosity.

Blair looks down as blood rushes to her cheeks. _Oh, how embarrassing_, she thinks to herself. "I... I don't really know how to put it, but I think I may have had a flashback or something," Blair begins.

Serena perks up, her eyes sparkling with intrigue. "What? That's incredible, Blair! I'm so excited! What were you doing?"

Blair shrugged weakly. "Don't get too worked up. I'm not even sure if what happened matters."

_Maybe this isn't such a good idea_, Blair contemplates. Why should she tell Serena about what happened in the bathroom when it may not signify anything other than the fact that Blair felt a little too full from dinner? _That's all it was. I was so full that I became delirious, _Blair convinces herself, ultimately deciding not to tell Serena about what happened unless she has that strange feeling again.

Abruptly, Blair stands up to leave and tens of tiny black dots threaten her vision. Stumbling back, Blair catches the wall and slides down to the floor. Serena immediately jumps off of her bed and falls to Blair's side. "B, what's going on?" the blond asks, concerned.

Blair closes her eyes and breathes deeply. A loud grumbling from her stomach indicates to Serena what Blair refuses to say and so Serena just wraps her arms around her friend and lets Blair's head rest on her shoulder.

"You've done this before," Blair says, more as a statement rather than a question.

Serena furrows her eyebrows. "What?"

Blair sighs audibly, lifting her eyebrows. "You've _done this _before. Am I right?"

Suddenly, Serena understands and she tilts Blair's chin up so that their eyes met. "How do you know that, B?"

Blair's stomach growled again, more angrily this time. "God, shut up," she instructs her body before answering, "I had déjà vu or something last night at dinner, Serena. I had it after I…" Blair trails off and lowers her eyes again.

"After you what, B? This is important," Serena urges, her bright blue eyes pleading for the truth. Serena constantly manages to put people at ease in uncomfortable moments. It's always been one of her natural abilities, and at this particular moment, Blair was both cursing and admiring that skill.

"I threw up, okay? Geez, it's not even a big deal!" Blair blurts out loudly. A weight is lifted off of her shoulders and while Blair feels better for admitting what happened, she is worried about the consequences of this admittance.

Serena gasped. "You purged, Blair? And you remembered something? You have got to tell me what happened!"

"I was so full from stuffing my face that I had to do something, Serena. I know it's gross and everything, but I just thought that throwing up would bring the quickest relief. Anyways, after I was done, I sort of freaked out and I started to count to calm myself down. All of a sudden, I felt like I've done that before, you know? I don't really know how to explain it," Blair stops to take a breath. "And when you hugged me just now, Serena, I would swear on my life that we've been in this position before, too," Blair looks up to gauge Serena's reaction. "You must think I'm insane. I probably am."

Serena remains in quiet contemplation for a few seconds before smiling weakly. "I guess now is as good a time to tell you that you used to have an eating disorder, B. You were bulimic. After every relapse, you'd call me and I'd be at your side as soon as I could get there," Serena reveals gently, "I know it sounds bad, Blair, but this is a good thing. This means that you're starting to remember your past."

Blair lets the new information sink in. "Why didn't you tell me all of this before, Serena?" Blair questions.

"I thought if I didn't tell you, then maybe you wouldn't remember that aspect of your life. Who would want to remember something like that anyways? It was a really scary part of your life, you know."

"Did Chuck know that I had a problem?" Blair asks.

"I honestly don't know. He never mentioned anything to me if he did. Your mother and I both knew, that much is certain. Have you told Chuck about what happened yesterday?"

"Of course not!" Blair snaps. "I can't have him knowing I did that. He'd never look at me the same! You'd better not tell him either, S. I mean it."

Serena bites her lip before replying hesitantly, "I really think he should know, B. He's your boyfriend."

Blair shakes her head vigorously. "_No_, Serena. Do you understand the word? What happened is between you and me, and that's it. If he mentions something about it, I'm going to know you told him and I'll never speak to you again!"

"Alright," Serena relents, crossing her arms over her chest in defeat. "but can we please eat? I'm starving, your stomach tells me you're starving, and there are two platters full of shrimp and fruit that I am dying to get my hands on!"

Standing up, Serena offers her hand to Blair, who smiles dimly. "Okay," the brunette says, relieved that Serena can now share her secret. "And I promise, S, if I remember something that isn't about… you know, then I _will_ tell Chuck. I don't want to worry him, that's all."

Serena nods in agreement and helps Blair up off of the floor. Blair smiles surreptitiously as the two friends head towards the kitchen. Finally, the fractured pieces of her memory are starting to piece together.

* * *

**A/N: I really liked writing this chapter; it's one of my favorites. I'm excited and also kind of sad that we're one more chapter closer to the end. I'm trying to decide whether to wrap it up next chapter or the one after, so we'll see how that turns out. Any preferences? Anyways, as always, thank all of you so much for your great reviews!!!**


	17. Until The Real Thing Comes Along

**I'll Be Seeing You **

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Chapter title taken from "Until The Real Thing Comes Along" by Sandy Denny**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill.**

A week has passed since Blair told Serena about her purging incident, which is, so far, the only evidence Blair has to link herself to life before the accident. As she walks with Chuck through Central Park on this particularly frigid November day, Blair chatters about the impending holiday season. "I can't wait for Thanksgiving, Chuck! I think Daddy's going to be there. You're coming, right?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Chuck replies, gently running a hand up and down Blair's back.

Blair smirks, a habit most certainly learned from her cunning boyfriend, and pinches his backside playfully. "Good answer, Bass, or else you'd be on the dinner menu!"

Chuck watches as Blair's heels click rapidly on the pavement ahead of him. He looks at the snow-covered ground and hesitates momentarily before reaching down and packing a handful of snow into a tight ball. "No one threatens Chuck Bass!" he murmurs under his breath, amused, as he launches the snowball at Blair's back.

His aim ends up being a little too high and all of sudden, Blair's naturally dark curls are covered in powdery white snow. She turns around, stunned, before haughtily placing her hands on her hips. "Oh you are going to regret that. In case you haven't heard, I've got quite the pitcher's arm!"

"Please, Blair. Your aim is about as good as a blind huntsman's," Chuck taunts teasingly.

"That's it!" Blair huffs, balling up some snow in her mitten-covered hands. "I was going to take it easy on you, Bass, but I'm suddenly not feeling so magnanimous." She throws the snowball and almost doubles over in laughter upon watching the white snow explode in Chuck's face. "You know, I could be a jerk and dole out one of your dirty Chuck Bass jokes right now but I feel I've humiliated you enough," Blair says casually, a playful smile gracing her face.

Chuck dusts the snow from his face. "Fine, Waldorf. Let's call a truce. It wouldn't be professional of me to walk into my board meeting looking like the Abominable Snowman," he extends a hand in mock diplomacy.

Blair pretends to meet his outstretched hand but instead responds, "Waldorfs don't compromise!" before tossing another snowball in Chuck's direction. She runs as quickly and carefully as her Louboutins permit, brown curls bouncing up and down and reminding Chuck of a small child. This is a side of Blair Waldorf few have ever seen, especially before she lost her memory.

Chuck is not in the mood to engage in physical activity but he takes off running behind her, grimacing at the damage that is most likely being done to his newly-purchased Berluti shoes. _Two thousand bucks down the drain. _Not that he is upset of course, as two grand is pocket change for the likes of Chuck Bass.

Chuck suddenly breaks from his train of thought and brings his attention back to the giggling Blair, who has slowed to a stop in order to accommodate Chuck's sluggish pace. Chuck soon catches up to her and they both collapse on a nearby bench, chests heaving and faces red. "You never cease to surprise me," Chuck says between gasping breaths.

Blair smiles and replies, "I try." The pair stand up and begin walking out of the park hand in hand. After walking in tranquil silence for a few minutes, Blair abruptly removes her hand from Chuck's and crosses her arms over her chest. Chuck thinks nothing of the gesture and the couple continues walking for another minute or two when, out of the blue, Blair asks, "Are you happy with me, Chuck?"

Chuck looks at Blair, bewildered. "Of course I am, Waldorf," he answers her earnestly, "Why? What's wrong?"

She remains silent.

Chuck furrows his brow and a feeling of uneasiness settles in the pit of his stomach. "Blair, what is it? Tell me."

Stopping in her tracks, Blair's dark eyes met Chuck's. She looks down at her feet and shrugs. "I just… I have a feeling, Chuck."

"A feeling? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asks, suddenly incensed that she could possibly think that there is something wrong in their relationship.

Blair hesitates. "It's… It's just, I feel like there is no way that we can be this… this _perfect_," Blair answers quietly.

"Who says we can't? I don't get why all of a sudden you're thinking about this," Chuck responds, sounding angrier than he intends

"You don't get it," she mutters.

"No, I don't, Blair! Enlighten me! I thought we were having a good time today and out of nowhere you do an emotional one-eighty!"

"Stop yelling at me, Chuck!" Blair raises her voice, tears threatening to fall from her watering eyes. "Listen to me. I've been thinking about this for the past couple days, okay? Not just right now. I love you so much that it hurts. Please don't doubt my feelings for you. I just don't understand how I can be so head-over-heels in love with you when I haven't really 'known' you for that long. We have to have a history in order for me to feel this way, Chuck. All I know is that there is more to us than you are letting on. I have this constant, nagging feeling that whatever it is that you're hiding from me might help me understand you – and us– better." She takes in a deep, urgent breath and wiped a single traitorous tear from her porcelain cheek. "And you know my intuition is never wrong, so what is it, Chuck? What haven't you told me?"

Chuck is shocked. While he is relieved that Blair isn't threatening to end things or something of the like, he can't help but wonder if it was wrong of him to not tell her about what happened just before her accident. At this point, Chuck doesn't know whether the truth would hurt more than a lie, but at the risk of Blair discovering what really happened on her own, he decides to speak the reality of the situation. "Alright, Blair. You win. I'll tell you. But you need to promise me you will listen to everything I say before you react. Deal?"

"Deal," Blair replies anxiously.

"Not long before your accident, you were at a bar with me. You… you wanted to know if I wanted to be with you. If I could put all fear and doubt aside so that I could love you. If how I felt was a game or if how I felt was real."

"And? It was real, right?" Blair's voice quivers, "Tell me it was real!"

Chuck senses the panic in Blair's tone and moves to hold her in his arms. "Shh… Listen to me. I told you to listen to me." Once he feels Blair relax, he continues. "I told you everything was a game to me. I didn't mean it but I couldn't tell you the truth because I... I had issues, okay? You got upset and ran out, and the next time I heard anything about you was when I got the call that you were in the hospital. I never told you because I didn't want you to take it the wrong way."

Blair pushes herself out of Chuck's arms, a hurt expression painfully etched on her face. "Why would you do that, Chuck? Why would you tell me that it was a game if it wasn't?"

_Goddamn it_, Chuck thinks to himself, panicked. "Look, Blair. I pushed you away because... Well, honestly, I don't have an excuse. I was fucking pussy, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I tell you how I feel all the time now and you're complaining about something that happened months and months ago? Give me a break, Blair. I've changed. The past is the past. Can't we just forget about it?"

"Forget about it? _Forget about it_? I can't even remember anything happening, and you know why? Because of _you_! You broke my heart and let me run to who knows where and I ended up like _this_! None of this would have happened if you wouldn't have lied to me, Chuck! How can you tell me to just _forget about it_?!" Blair shrieks, tears falling freely now. "This entire relationship is based on a fucking lie and to be honest, Chuck, I don't know what I want to do about this. I can't even look at you right now!"

Blair turns suddenly and begins walking briskly towards Park Avenue. Chuck calls after her, "Blair, wait! Don't do this!" He starts jogging after her.

"Stay the hell away from me, Chuck!" Blair screams angrily, quickening her pace. Thick tears cloud Blair's eyesight as she covers her ears to drown out Chuck's pleas. "Please just stay away," she says quietly, almost as speaking to herself.

Blair doesn't pay attention to her surroundings as she steps off of the curb. She suddenly hears the sound of a loud horn blasting from a car that seems to be mere inches from her and through her surprised daze, she feels a strong arm wrap around her waist and pull her back. She along with her savior collapse on the sidewalk and Blair can feel herself being wrapped in two strong, familiar arms.

"Jesus Christ, Blair." Chuck gasped, his voice shaking. Holding Blair's head against his cheek, Chuck let out a sigh of relief.

Blair looks up at Chuck and says between sobs, "I'm sorry, Chuck, I'm such an idiot"

"Blair, stop saying you're sorry. I'm the jackass here. I hurt you in the first place. Just tell me you're okay."

Despite her trembling body and audible cries, Blair whispers, "I'm okay."

Chuck helps his girlfriend to her feet and lets her lean on him for support. "Good. You better not be lying." Chuck waves down a taxi before continuing. "Blair, the truth of the matter is that I should have told you how much I cared about you instead of carrying on that obviously false façade that you meant nothing. It's painfully obvious to see that you meant everything to me then and you still mean everything to me now," Chuck admits seriously before sliding into the idling cab with Blair.

"I know. And I didn't mean what I said back there, that my losing my memory was your fault. I should have been paying attention to traffic instead of feeling sorry for myself. Your face was the last thing I saw before I got hit," Blair says in a hushed voice.

"You had every reason to –" Chuck pauses, his eyes widening. "Wait. You remember what you were doing before the accident?"

Blair's face lights up. "I... Oh my God, I do! I can't believe this, Chuck! I remember!"

Chuck's lips turn upwards into a wide grin. "This is incredible, baby! Do you remember anything else?"

"Well…" Blair pauses to think, "I don't recall much else yet but I vaguely remember leaving the Russian Tea Room. Is that right?"

Chuck can't think of any other explanation for Blair's sudden recollection but the shock of almost getting in an accident again, but he really doesn't care about the "how's" as long as his Blair is alright again. He reaches a hand behind Blair's head and pulls her in for a deep kiss before responding, "Yes, Blair, that's absolutely right. I… I… Well, fuck, Blair. I just love you. I can't find any other words to say right now."

Blair smiles as a tear falls – this time, it's a happy one. "It's okay, Chuck. Those are the only words I want to hear."

* * *

**A/N: Annnnnd that was the last chapter! I'm most likely going to do an epilogue just to wrap things up, but I hope that you all enjoyed this one and I hope it lived up to what you readers hoped it would be!**


	18. Epilogue

**I'll Be Seeing You **

**Rated: T**

**Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill.**

_Epilogue_

Chuck makes his way briskly through throngs of people who stand carelessly in the way of moving traffic. He has always hated LaGuardia Airport because of its relatively small capacity and tendency for flights to arrive and depart late. Shouldering a college-aged hipster who is chattering loudly on his cell phone, Chuck huffs and quickens his pace.

"What the hell, man!" the hipster shouts above the crowd.

Chuck continues walking, throwing up his right hand in a gesture that's as crass as the hipster's attire. Looking at his watch, Chuck wonders if he is too late. Traffic that day was horrible, and his limo had been stuck at a stand-still for at least fifteen minutes before finally making some progress towards the airport.

"32A… 32A," Chuck repeats under his breath hurriedly, gazing around at the large signs that proclaim for which gate a particular area is reserved.

Finally, his eyes catch the enormous 32A sign and he moves towards the black leather seats, noticing that all of the chairs are empty, save for a few that are occupied by lone travelers who haven't yet been called to board. He scans the small group, hoping to catch a glimpse of those tantalizing red lips belonging to his fiancé, but all he sees are tired adults and apathetic teenagers bobbing their heads to the generic music that played through their headphones.

Chuck prepares to dial Blair when all of his sudden his eyes are drawn up towards the large glass window that gives a generous view of the airport's runways. There she stands, his temptress, leaning against the window with her tea rose-colored fingernails pressed to her forehead in quiet contemplation. A large diamond engagement ring adorning her left hand sparkles in the sunlight.

Chuck's feet move rapidly as he walks towards Blair, his palms sweating nervously. He hopes to God she won't be mad at him.

"Hello, beautiful," Chuck whispers huskily into her ear as he comes up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Blair turns around in his embrace and kisses him gently on the lips. "You're late, Bass," she chastises him teasingly. "I was beginning to think that this would be Tuscany all over again." Chuck grimaces. "I meant it when I said I remembered _everything_," Blair remarks with a triumphant grin.

Chuck lets out an amused laugh. "Consider Santorini my delayed apology."

"I guess I'll let you off the hook. You've suffered long enough," she replies, delivering Chuck another playful kiss.

Blair is wearing her traveling clothes, meaning she is dressed to the nines in a stunning Dior lilac frock and nude Chanel flats. As usual, her make-up is immaculate and her loose dark locks are meticulously laid over her shoulders. Save for a gray knee brace, Blair's creamy white legs are bare, probably the only detail that signifies to Chuck that in her eyes, she had dressed down this particular occasion.

"Your knee is bothering you again?" he asks, concerned.

Blair waves a hand nonchalantly. "It's nothing. If, after everything I've been through the past year, all I have to deal with is the occasional knee pain, I'll consider myself lucky." She takes his hand and starts leading him towards the gate entrance. "And you should consider yourself lucky that you didn't miss the plane. I would have killed you," she adds lightly.

Chuck smirks devilishly as he appreciates the way that Blair's hips sway with every delicate step she takes. "Oh, you don't know how lucky I am."

_Fin_


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